Country Mice Go to Washington DC — Random Observations from Visiting the Nation’s Capital

As I sit here, Reagan National Airport reflecting on the first trip for the wife and kids to DC, some random thoughts come to mind:

#1 My wife, despite her friendly smile and warm Midwestern demeanor, could take down a majority of “men” in the city if they as much as passed between her and her kids. She is not an MMA superstar, and does not have a violent bone in her body, but I would bet she could whip a majority of the “male” inhabitants of DC, especially if it had to do with protecting her children. Metrosexuals are a dime a dozen in DC. It might have something to do with the lack of a Cabelas, Tractor Supply or Menards.

#2 The majority of our cab drivers were overwhelmingly conservative. One, originally from West Africa, listened to talk radio all day and was elated when I mentioned that Mark Levin was at our event the day before. A second driver complained about government regulation of taxis and how hard he worked to put his two daughters through college. God bless legal immigrants. I’d suggest that we deport welfare loafers and trade them for hard-working legal immigrants like these cab drivers.

#3 Upon hearing the answer, “Kansas,” EVERYONE that asked where we were from responded with the following question, “How did you get here?” Apparently, getting from Kansas to DC is a major accomplishment. Our response was, “We flew and boy are our arms tired.” Actually, it was MCI-CLE-DCA if anyone really wants to know. The stage coach ride to MCI is a little rough though.

#4 The city is bursting at the seams with inefficiencies and smells of bureaucracy, among other things. Washington, DC is one of very few places in the country where anything is being constructed thanks to your tax dollars. The beast grows while the rest of the nation suffers. When I visit DC, it doesn’t take long to figure out why the country is going broke.

#5 I’ve been in private trophy rooms with better dioramas than at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. That being stated, there were still some pretty cool critters represented and I would have loved to have had the opportunity to hunt a T-Rex. I wonder if a .375 H&H would have been enough caliber? Shot placement and bullet type would be key.

#6 If you love guns and American history, go to the NRA’s National Firearm’s Museum. If you don’t love guns and American history, feel free to move to Europe.

#7 Modesty is becoming a lost virtue.

#8 Our founders were some seriously brilliant and courageous men who would send most of the current male inhabitants of the city packing. George Washington took on the Hessians after leaving a blood soaked trail in the snow and crossing the icy Delaware Christmas night into the wee hours of the next day. And now the skinny jean wearing “tough guys” gripe if their latte is prepared improperly and would trample women and children to get a glimpse of Justin Bieber.

#9 My wife chuckled listening to the Chinese woman behind us curse in her native tongue when we let a church youth group from Ft. Drum, whose parents serve in the Army, in line ahead of us at the Smithsonian. God bless America and those who serve her. It was my little stick in the eye for every time I was pushed, shoved, or cut in front of by our visitors from the Far East. God gives us small victories. And for those of you who think conservatives are racists, they were all black except for one or two. To the Chaplain leading them, God bless you, brother. We will meet again someday.

#10 Chivalry and respect are almost dead except at Conservative events where they are alive and well. There was practically a line to give well-wishes to a WWII veteran at the “Americans for Prosperity/Defending the American Dream Summit” and not a dry eye could be found when he was recognized from the podium and painstakingly stood from his wheel chair to wave his American flags while the crowd cheered with the largest standing ovation of the event.

#11 People wielding guitars as carry-on luggage should be charged at least a $300 nuisance fee to be divided up among everyone on the plane with triple portions going to everyone sitting directly in front or behind them. And, is it necessary to bring your stupid dog to Mt. Vernon to crap in George Washington’s grass? I love my dog, but seriously, leave Fido at home.

#12 Thomas Jefferson was correct when he said, “I think that our governments will remain virtuous for many centuries; as long as they remain chiefly agricultural; and this will be as long as there are vacant lands in any part of America. When they get piled upon one another in large cities as in Europe, they will become corrupt as in Europe, and go to eating one another as they do there.” My daughter shared this quote with me having experienced the real meaning of these words during our trip. Discerning, Righteous and Rowdy: Doug Giles would be proud.

#13 The clear Kansas sky with the stars stretching from horizon to horizon welcomed us back. Dorothy said it best, “There’s no place like home.” Now hopefully the horse will be able to find his way back to the homestead.

Image Courtesy of ILA-boy

Steve Sheldon

About the author, Steve Sheldon: Steve Sheldon is a lifelong outdoorsman, hunter, gun-rights enthusiast and widely published author. Steve spent a dozen years in private industry as an investment broker and owner of multiple businesses. He served the National Rifle Association almost ten years in various capacities before moving to Americans for Prosperity in his current role of External Affairs Officer. Steve has held various church leadership roles over the years and served in a jail ministry. View all articles by Steve Sheldon

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