By S. C. Sherman
ClashDaily Guest Contributor
Even before the recent massacre in Newton, Connecticut, evil visited Iowa. Though it won’t grab any national headlines, last summer two sweet Iowa cousins disappeared. Their names were Lyric Cook and Elizabeth Collins. After hours of police work, prayer vigils, and leads gone cold, the two girls bodies were recently found by a deer hunter. The perpetrator of this heinous act remains still at large. The level of darkness needed for a person to commit an act like this is unfathomable by most any rational people of any party or faith. Societies have long struggled with what to do with these “evil-doers”. I have an idea.
Prison for life is what most in our society deem reasonable and civilized. Never allow that aberration of a human to ever live a normal life again. Lock ‘em up and throw away the key. However, free room and board, internet, cable TV, access to education, weights, and of course movie night, hardly seems like punishment to some of us. So what to do with a troll, who would snatch an innocent, bike-riding-child, rip their last moments to shreds and kill them. Recently Iowa State Senator Kent Sorenson brought up another alternative, the death penalty.
You could almost hear a collective groan, from both sides the aisle. Oh no, he actually said it out loud and suggested we think about it. Yep, that’s right death. Kill the evil dregs of a human. Eliminate them from the planet as they did to an unsuspecting, trusting, innocent of our society.
Immediately this idea was dismissed as un-passable. Most all the Democrats and half the Republicans will be against it. How animalistic. Aren’t we above that “eye for an eye” stuff? Why is it civilized to treat our sadistic freaks with respect, and honor them with Life in prison? I’m stunned as our society has no problem with the mass slaughter of innocent unborn babies every year, yet we have no stomach to eliminate our most sick, twisted psychos.
I have the solution. The death penalty is too boring. Lethal injection? It looks like falling asleep. Ooh, exciting. We are an entertainment culture obsessed with death, right? Yes, we are. Hang on … here it comes, I have titled it “The Honey Creek Games”. Iowa can kill two birds with one stone. Honey Creek Resort, is a state-owned fiasco and currently a huge loser. The tax payers cover the millions in losses every year. The Honey Creek Games will turn this money pit around and eliminate bad guys at the same time. Bam!
Here’s how it works. We build an elaborate, electrified-fence topped with razor wire surrounding the entire property, excluding the golf course and hotel; we will need those for the audience. Then we install video and audio super-sensitive devices throughout the entire woods. We could also put those drones no one knows much about to good use here. Maybe even some of the traffic camera technology we are so fond of would work here too. We will definitely need some of those tracking devices being used on some American High School kids and Saudi wives. Let the games begin!
Convicted scumbags could then be sentenced to The Honey Creek Games. Sounds fun and exciting, and it is. We will need a theme song. Maybe something Nugent? Reprobates will be given a sporting chance, much more than they gave their innocent victims. See how morally high we are? This is actually the only fair thing to do.
The games take an interesting twist here. After releasing said convict into the game area, the family of the victim or victims can select one member of their own clan to enter the arena. If a family has no one with the stamina or will to “play” themselves, a list of paid mercenaries willing to do this sort of work can be provided. Whoever enters the game on behalf of the dead is allowed to take weapons, water, and a pack full of whatever they want. Yes, they are given an unfair advantage, sorry, just the way the games are. That’s it. Let the games begin.
From that moment on we have the absolute hands down most watched reality show on TV. The state can charge a fee to log on and watch the games streaming live. That beats watching those Decorah eagles nesting endlessly. The Honey Creek hotel would sell out while the games were going on and could give tours of the woods during off times to show exactly where each death occurred. The show would instantly be a success and our loser state park – in the black.
Hopefully, the “evil-doer” ends up dead, but at least they would have a fighting chance. How civilized is that? Aren’t you tired of fake death being found on every single channel? Real death would be a lot better. Everyone in the world would know about Iowa and our “Games”. We’d be famous. No one would ever confuse us with Idaho ever again.
Why not kill some nasty individuals and make Iowa a primo tourist destination? After the bad guy gives a good death rattle, I guess we could debate whether or not to put their heads on spikes? Some might think that would be a little over the top. However, that would send most of our sickos fleeing to other states with no games. Problem solved. Deter psychos from killing our citizens, create jobs, increase tourism, and save a failing state park from bankruptcy, I will look forward to this legislation.
Image: The Most Dangerous Game (1932); source: Internet Movie Poster Awards Gallery; author RKO Radio Pictures (corporate author); public domain