My Beefs With the SOTU …

Dear Mr. President,

I did not watch your State of the Union. Based on your previous speeches, here’s how I figured it would go: “LIE LIE LIE BLAME REPUBLICANS LIE LIE LIE BUSH’S FAULT LIE LIE LIE FAIR SHARE LIE LIE LIE MORE TAXES LIE LIE LIE LET ME BE CLEAR LIE LIE LIE LIE AMERICA CAN BE GREAT TOGETHER LIE LIE LIE LIE UMMM UMMM UMM.”

My mom informed me that you said all Americans should watch your State of the Union. Sorry, but when I want to be lied to, I usually prefer gratuitous flattery to stroke my ego along the lines of, “Yes, you look AMAZING. Absolutely amazing. Have you lost ten pounds?” Not: “Already, the Affordable Care Act is helping to slow the growth of health care costs.” (which is an actual quote, by the way, because I did eventually go read the transcript)

Secondly, with my husband off in another area of the world, and with two little ones under three practically glued to me, I have enough headaches these days. I’m telling you this because in your State of the Union, you talked about how FLOTUS and Dr. Jill Biden were doing so much to help military families. Tell them to call me. I’ll let them know how they can help, but part of it is going to involve pursuing a sensible foreign policy so our military can reconstitute.

Thirdly (and most importantly), I only watch presidents who believe in American exceptionalism and attempt to remain within Constitutional boundaries give States of the Union. Which is ultimately the reason I’m glad I didn’t watch your SOTU, because you outlined so many new programs that are in no way in line with our Constitution, and for a former Constitutional law “lecturer” I find this disturbing.

I honestly believe sequestration won’t kill our military, but please tell me why military spending is held hostage to education or job training funding when Congress is authorized through the Constitution to fund the military — but not education or job training. Why should the government invest in human genome mapping or solar energy? Perhaps the mysteries of the free market and the private sector elude you, sir, but let me inform you: if there is money to be made in these areas, the private sector will pursue them. You won’t have to dangle taxpayer money.

Additionally, while I realize economics is known as the “dismal science” and it’s harder than a round of golf or employing drone strikes on American citizens, we need to talk about this minimum wage hike you propose that will only burden small businesses and cause prices to rise. Because that will totally help our economy, right? Raising the minimum wage only hurts the middle class and keeps the lower-class poorer. It’s one of those liberal ideas that sounds pretty on paper, but doesn’t work. (Also, Mr. President, while we’re on this subject, I’m still trying to get definitions for “fair share”, “living wage” and “fair wage”. Could you please expound upon these in your next speech?)

Your foreign policy doesn’t sound all that new or like something I want to support. You talk about how al-Qaida is a “shadow of its former self” (Chris Stevens unavailable for comment). You talk about how we will stand with Israel, but nominate Chuck Hagel for SECDEF. You say that we will stand with citizens of the Middle East who demand universal rights, but you virtually ignored Iran’s Green Revolution while supporting Egypt’s support of the Muslim Brotherhood (universal rights …for MEN, maybe?) and refused to answer Congress over involvement with Libya, contrary to the War Powers Act.

But perhaps the biggest foul was when you dragged the Newtown tragedy into your SOTU, and then compared it to a murder in your hometown of Chicago. Guess what? While the girl who was murdered in Chicago was tragic, the gun that killed her was already ILLEGAL. How will passing more laws help her? How will your politicizing her death help her family? Furthermore, you went on to say that, “Police chiefs are asking our help to get weapons of war and massive ammunition magazines off our streets, because they are tired of being outgunned.” Which would have been completely legit if millions of Americans hadn’t just watched the LAPD get into a firefight with Chris Dorner. I’m not a big fan of cop-killers, but after watching the way the LAPD responded to the threat over the last few days, it made me a much bigger believer in possessing an AR-15 and a high capacity magazine to deter cops shooting up my private property in a case of mistaken identity.

You might do well in this case to remember Machiavelli who wrote, “But when you disarm them, you at once offend them by showing that you distrust them, either for cowardice or want of loyalty, and either of these opinions breed hatred against you.”

Mr. President, it’s hard for me to say I’m disappointed in you when I have such low expectations to begin with. Your policies of big government and government intervention have failed and will continue to do so. It’s going to be a long four years.