According to the Department of Defense and the Department of Homeland Security, evangelical Christians are now a national security threat. I’m talkin’ at the top of the list folks. As Gomer Pyle used to say, “Surprise, Surprise, Surprise” eh, Christians?
Under the New Rules enacted by these agencies under this administration’s tutelage the following acts are now to cause red flags of “terrorism” to fly, alerting cops and military personnel to a new group[s] which could start blowing crap up like the other group that we can no longer speak the truth about.
So, herewith, I guess, are some of the characteristics of the “newfangled” terrorists in the United States of Statism.
· If you enjoy singing How Great Thou Art and Amazing Grace – you might be a terrorist. · If you say “bless their heart” after you hear that someone did something really, really stupid – you might be a terrorist.
· If you believe Jeremiah was a prophet and not a bullfrog – you might be a terrorist.
· If you feel obligated to say you’ll pray for someone after you’ve gossiped about them – you might be a terrorist.
· If you watched The Bible on the History Channel and thought it was badass – you might be a terrorist.
· If you believe it’s wrong and ungodly to hijack airplanes and jam them into skyscrapers full of innocent people – then you might be a terrorist.
· If you think Billy Graham has been a great gift to our nation – you might be a terrorist.
· If you celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter – you might be a terrorist.
· If you made the day you got saved your birthday on your Facebook page verses the day you actually popped out of your mama’s bottom – you might be a terrorist.
· If you give money towards the preaching of the gospel and to works of charity – you might be a terrorist.
· If you love your neighbor as yourself – you might be a terrorist.
· If you recognize, appreciate and wish to pass on to the next generation America’s godly heritage – you might be a terrorist.
· If you like the Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and the Bill of Rights – you might be terrorist.
· If you have Jesus Take the Wheel on your iPod – you might be a terrorist.
· If as a single man, you have told a homely single lady that, “all you’re looking for is a godly woman and that you don’t care that she’s not attractive.” – you might be a terrorist.
