Real Immigration Reform Starts in Mexico: Introducing the Zorro Brigades

Watching Democrats do immigration reform is like watching a gorilla play with its feces. Watching the Republicans do it is like watching the zoo-keeper slip in the dung, then get pummeled by the gorilla. The truth is that Democrats and the Whig corner of the Republican Party are battling over who gets to be the slave master, with Democrats wanting to enslave the American people and the Whigs – the Mexicans. There are few voices out there that sound like real Republicans, like our abolitionist forefathers who displaced both parties and led the nation to greater freedom.

One voice crying in the wilderness is Ted Nugent. In an op-ed for Worldnet Daily, Ted proposes his Nugent Immigration Plan or NIP – A plan that would deport gang-bangers and ne’er-do-wells while giving a 5 year trek to those who want to achieve citizenship for a better future. It’s kind of like a 60 month Tough Mudder but instead of receiving the orange headband at the end, you raise your Dos Equis to the golden ticket of American freedom. Ted’s plan is unique, brilliant and daring and if enacted, would solve many of the problems of illegal immigration but even the Ted offensive falls short of realizing the root of the problem that is illegal immigration – Mexico.

You will never have “Comprehensive Immigration Reform” without addressing the root problem – Mexican corruption. No wall is sufficient to stem the tide of illegals if there is no enforcement on either side of it. The wall will simply be another government works program, a “Big-Dig- Paved with Good Intentions – Bridge to Nowhere” debacle that will be skirted as easy as the cartels avoid our border police. Not addressing the corruption in Mexico and only muting the corruption in D.C. is “tending to the symptoms while ignoring the disease;” it is giving a dying man a placebo. No plan that doesn’t start and end in Mexico is for real. Now let’s break down this whole situation logically.

There is no talk of building a wall along our northern border and it’s not because Canadians respect the law more intrinsically than Mexicans; it’s because Canadians have hope. The reason that the Mexicans stream over our southern border is because America affords them a greater hope than the armpit in which they currently reside. Is anyone so arrogant to believe that Mexicans here illegally no longer want to be Mexican and wouldn’t stay in their homeland were they afforded opportunity? Why do you think that many of them track home in the winter months or fly their flags on Cinqo de Mayo? Mexicans aren’t just fleeing to opportunity; they’re fleeing from corruption and hopelessness. This is the root of the problem and no one is addressing it.

We don’t need reform; we need solutions! But before I present mine, let me tip my hat to one of Uncle Ted’s solutions. First we must make the distinction between honest, hard working Mexicans and the sloth/criminal class that simply wants to Tony Montana the system or suck off the American teat. Ted says,

Illegal aliens trying to become an American are not eligible for any state or federal crack welfare during the five-year Nuge immigration probationary period. None. When the going gets tough, the tough Wango ze Tango.

A child of an illegal immigrant who is a member of a gang will result in the entire family being sent back to Mexico. This will result in the family being permanently barred from ever applying for citizenship in America. There are no appeals. We need strong families, not strong gangs.

The real reason that we allow criminals and welfare rights from other countries to linger is that it is politically expedient for the Democrats. Where is the outcry from the Republicans? Why is it that Republicans run like Reagan only to govern like Mondale? Schwarzenegger follows Davis and then out-liberals him; Rubio defeats Crist and then becomes Schumer’s sock puppet.