President Obama to Enter Rehab for “Vacation Addiction”
Atlantis Resort and Spa’s General Manager, Lonise Carey, said the famed, mind-blowingly luxurious getaway is “honored and humbled” to have the President choose it for the grueling therapy he will endure once he arrives to the resort and enters its rehab facility, headed by Chief Psychiatrist and Addiction Specialist, Dr. James Hendrix.
“We at the heavenly and endlessly fun resort of Atlantis are delighted in being the place President Obama chose to fight and overcome his addiction to vacationing at heavenly and endlessly fun destinations,” said Mr. Carey to reporters, Sunday evening. “I just hope the rigorous treatment regimen Dr. Hendrix has our ‘recovery guests’ adhere to is not too much for Mr. Obama. It is quite strict …But if Mr. Obama feels he needs a break from the onerous demands of Dr. Hendrix’s, there’re always our pools, spas, bars, and golf courses he can retreat to for a breather. After all, who can be cured of ‘vacation addiction’ without taking a break once in a while?”
The President and his family, with daughters Sasha and Malia already puffing up their inner-tubes in anticipation of the “vacation recovery getaway,” are rumored not to speak publicly of the treatment excursion until Obama returns from Atlantis in late October or November, or December.
“There’s only so many vacations a man can take before he ‘breaks,’ especially when the rest of his country’s paying for them,” said celebrity psychologist, Dr. Phillip McGraw (aka “Dr. Phil) on his website, Sunday. “I’m praying for President Obama to recover from this horrible vacation addiction. It’s no less an addiction than one has to crystal meth or cocaine or opiates. Habitual vacation–taking is growing to be one of the most common addictions among overrated, empty-suited politicians and celebrities today …not meaning to sound redundant.”
– See more at: http://www.duhprogressive.com/index.php/368-president-obama-to-enter-rehab-for-addiction-to-vacations#sthash.xqNo4fuj.dpuf
The Preceding is Satire.
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Image: Source: White House (P010112PS-0235); author: Pete Souza; public domain
