• Stop talking about where you went to college.
• Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.
• Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.
• It’s okay to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.
• The best public restrooms are in hotels: The St. Regis in New York, Claridge’s in London, The Fullerton in Singapore, to name a few.
• Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row … unless something really good comes up on the third night.
• You will regret your tattoos.
• Never date an ex of your friend.
• Join Twitter; become your own curator of information.
• If riding the bus doesn’t incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
• Time is too short to do your own laundry.
• When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
• If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.
• You don’t have to like baseball, but you should understand the concept of what a pitcher’s ERA means. Approach life similarly.
• When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
• People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
