Professor Dumpster: Trash for Brains? Who’s Paying?

Professor Dr. Jeff Wilson must have gotten his doctorate degree on the inside of a Cracker Jack box or possibly at some socialist, radical, left wing extremist but non-racist Ivy League school.  This has to be the epitome of an extremely high intellectual mind, according to their college declared ranking, of taking absurdity to the extreme.  Professor Jeff “Dumpster” Wilson will be living in a dumpster for one year to see if it is possible. He has included some of his minions for colleagues and students in this study to see how a human can live in less than one percent of the average living space in America.

The taxpaying citizens have paid for many bizarre research projects, including putting shrimp on treadmills to make them more lean, attempting to see if the genetic hair vs. false hair color has anything to do with who is more prone to have above normal mating habits, whether male monkeys only pick their behind and play with their genitalia while the public are watching and many more insane and problematic studies.  The “Dumpmeister” supposedly sold all of his property for a buck in order to fund this project.  My guess is the pathological lying sociopath that lives in the White House, leaning back in his chair while his feet are kicked up on the desk, has given this academic moron a large sum of money to see if the investigation could be applied to the general public.

Jefro’s devotion to this project is to “promote interest in the area of sustainability”.  As mentioned in previous articles, when one hears the words green, sustainable or environmental, caution needs to be administered.  If you think I am kidding, this is what Jefro, Prof. Dumpster, said, “Through less consumption, in this case less than one percent of the average American home, you still can have a happy and fulfilling life.”  I am not for sure who the hell this jerk is trying to convince, but I have guns and ammo that will be utilized before idiots, convinced by the doctor, come and try to throw my arse in a trash can while telling me I will be happy and lead a fulfilling life! 
Eight cubic yards is the area in which the “trash for brains man” will live and, by the way, if he wants to take a weekend off from his lovely dive, he has students to fill in for him.  

One question: If his life is so “happy and fulfilling”, why would he want to get away for a weekend and why would any student want to fill in for him other than possibly a tradeoff for an excellent grade?  Jelly Erazo, a political science major, states, “Oh yes, it’s on my bucket list .I want to live in a dumpster. So, you could say it’s on my dumpster list. There we go.”  

Here is the plan of action: The yearlong environmental studies project will be done in two phases.  

•Phase one involves buying the dumpster, cleaning it, and then camping out in it.  
•Phase two involves turning it into a fully functioning living quarters that will be complete with toilet, washing machine, and WiFi. 

WiFi, a hot dog and chips is probably what makes the professors evening after class.  So, after food stamps, welfare, free cell phones and free housing will the government be giving everyone a free computer so they can use their free “Wifi”? 

Of course, Jefro, the trash for brains dumpster dude, has a following amongst his peers.  All the homeless to middle income families have some works of wonder on their side.  Liz Ogbu is in charge of “Design”; Dr. Vanessa Svihla, Education and Curricula for Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM); Dr. Barbara Brown-Wilson, Sustainability Education; Dr. Rich Corsi, Environmental Engineering; Dr. Les Shephard, Water Energy Nexus.  With this line-up at Huston-Tillotson University what else could Middle America ask unless your dream home is a trash can?  I am sure all of these individuals are exceeding their expectations.

At the Prof’s site you will find:

THE ANATOMY OF A DUMPSTER:  What does home look like in a world of 10 billion people? How do we equip current and future generations with the tools they need for sustainable living practices? We believe promoting awareness and education in an engaging manner are critical to answering this question – and that’s why we got a used dumpster. With the help of Professor Dumpster and the Dumpster Team, the dumpster will transform from a barely habitable garbage container to a sustainable house and interactive teaching lab. From design to implementation, the lab will challenge students to apply their science, technology, engineering and math skills to every part of the renovation process. Professor Dumpster will need all the help he can get because he’s about to make the dumpster his new home address!

Hopefully, Professor Dr. Jeff Wilson’s project becomes useful for the taxpaying citizen in the United States.  If he can make individual free living space units that are appealing to drug smuggling donkeys, Muslims and Mexicans crossing the border illegally, he may have created a human roach trap.  Let’s manufacture them by the thousands and line em all up by the border.  This alluring snare that will provide a “happy and fulfilling life” in the states should put them at rest until they hear the overwhelming sound of the dump truck.
 
Image: courtesy of: http://www.themindfulword.org/2012/dumpster-diving-food-price-inflation/

About the author: David Hiatt

David Hiatt sees a good part of America driving his truck across it, mostly from Indiana down to the bottom of Texas. He is a passionate Christian Constitutional Conservative that is concerned about the direction this Great Nation is heading.

View all articles by David Hiatt

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