By Neisha Potter
Clash Daily Guest Contributor
Husbands, are you wondering why your wife is less than interested in you? More than likely you did not score your beautiful wife by lying on the couch all day picking potato chip crumbs out of your navel. Instead, you took her out to dinner, sent her flowers, sent her a text that you could not get her off your mind and built up sexual tension which led to passionate intimacy with one another. Yep, those were the days.
Marriage does not have to lose the fire that it had when the two of you were dating or even when you were newlyweds. Sure, that new car smell goes away, but passion within a marriage does not have to die. If actuality, passion should grow in a marriage and after ten, fifteen, or twenty years you should be more in love with one another than you ever were in the beginning.
11 ways to stop your wife from having a wondering eye:
You spend all your spare time lying on the couch and the only body part that works is your thumb against the remote. It does not mean you should not ever have some good ol’ television time, but if you want to keep the attention of your wife give her some of your attention – come on fellas.
Sure, she admires your hobby, at least she use to – until you start turning down dinner dates with your wife so you can continue to tinker. Get your priorities straight: God, wife, children . . . and then everything else.
3. Eight second ride:
Sex is all about you; as long as you climax that is all that counts. You lack foreplay, passion and the desire to please your wife. You leave her unfulfilled – no wonder she has a wondering eye. Rock her world in the bedroom and make it your goal to satisfy her – she won’t take her eyes off you!
Some things seem so small, but jeepers, there is a hamper for a reason – pick up after yourself. She is not asking you to partake in spring cleanings, but pick up your dirty pants, rinse out your dirty dish so she is not scrubbing it for thirty minutes and for the love of bacon – do the man’s work. This leads us into reason number five…
5. Man Chores:
Why is your wife doing all the maintenance work around the house? You expect her to cook, clean, grocery shop, do the laundry, mop the floors, dust, make beds, wash sheets, scrub your dirty dishes, raise the children, work outside of the home and do your part by picking up your dirty clothes all over the house, pick up that empty potato chip bag, mow the lawn because she is sick of seeing it overgrown, take out the trash, and fix maintenance issues . . . are you tired yet? I bet she is, so try to lighten her load. It may not seem like a lot when you are watching your favorite television show, but she is a busy woman – help her out.
6. Bad breath:
Oral hygiene is not voluntary guys, unless you do not ever want her to kiss you. Just because you are married does not mean you can have a mouth that smells like an infected dead animal. Men, you do not want your wife to lose that body you love so much, so pick up the phone and schedule that dental appointment.
7. Good ol’ fashioned honesty:
Let’s face it fellas, your wife has caught you in too many lies. Filling up that bottle of trust after you have shattered it is almost impossible. It takes a long time to regain trust in a marriage once it has been broken, but if you truly want her to trust you again you have to stop lying – you are stomping on broken pieces over and over again. Women are looking for a man who won’t break her heart; be that man. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective,” James 5:16.
8. Three’s a crowd:
Stop putting her down . . . remember the crowd of friends who she absolutely adored? Well, stop telling your friends what a nagging b***h she has become and she might not care if you hang out with your buddies. If you put as much effort into loving your wife as you do complaining about her I guarantee you will not have anything to complain about. “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other,” Galatians 5:15.
9. Blame shifting:
Take responsibility for the things you have done – stop blaming her. We are all responsible for the choices we have made no matter what circumstances influenced those choices – learn from your mistakes and be a constructive member in your marriage instead of a destructive spouse. Say I’m sorry and mean it – we all make mistakes. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32.
10. Communication, communication, communication . . .
Sit down and work out the issues, negotiate and renegotiate if needed. You cannot build a house on sand.
11. Allow God to lead and be a part of your marriage.
Luke 18:27, Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
Marriage is challenging, but it does not have to be so complicated. Figure out what tickles her fancy and take advantage of making her squirm. Let her walk away from you with a smile on her face; seek to please her emotionally and physically. Be honest with her and give her praise – she is doing an amazing job! Lighten her load and don’t take her for granted – she won’t take those beautiful eyes off of you.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up,” Galatians 6:9.
Neisha Potter is a married mom of three. Potter graduated from Dallas Baptist University with a BAS in Christian Ministry and Psychology.