I DO DECLARE: 15 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With A Southerner

Via Buzzfeed

1. Calling people “Sir” and “Ma’am” will become a regular thing.

15 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With A Southerner
Logo TV / Via wifflegif.com

It’s like you get a crash course in manners when you marry someone from the South, whether you like it or not.

2. You realize the Great BBQ War is a real thing and you must choose sides.

15 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With A Southerner
ABC / Via blondewonk.com

Well, those sides are chosen for you depending on where you marry into. That being said, there ain’t nuthin’ like mutton. Western Kentucky represent!

3. Also, you are quickly taught that what you called barbecuing was actually just grilling.

15 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With A Southerner
NBC / Via yttalk.com

Real barbeque is slow and low on indirect heat. So stop saying you are having people over for a barbeque when you are really having people over for a grill, OK?

4. You will root for a college you didn’t attend and like it.

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Chuck Cook/Usa Today Sports

Unless of course they are playing your alma mater, in which case you just have to sit there silently rooting for your team.

5. The fact that sweet tea isn’t offered at all restaurants will bum you out.

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Why isn’t this a staple everywhere? It tastes like love. Sweet, sweet love.

6. Giving driving directions by landmarks becomes second nature.

15 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With A Southerner
The Samuel Goldwyn Company / Via reactiongifs.com

“Just go until you see the big tower, then turn right. When you reach the fence with the hole in it turn left. Then before you know it — bam! — Disneyland.” — You now.

7. “Bless your heart” will become your favorite way of calling someone an idiot.

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Read more: Buzzfeed.com
  • Milly

    That about sums it up. LOL I’m glad I was raised in the south.

  • TRex

    Southern girls are the best!

  • D C

    Sho Nuff.

  • KittyAmerica

    All I ask at the end of my days here; just bury me in my Dixie.

    • David Taylor

      Just not too soon.

    • Nan Perkins

      At-a girl ditto

  • Dr. Death

    Except for those crazy weapons you Rebels cooked up in Civil War #1. Like that “LeMat” pistol with 9 .41 caliber rounds and a 20 Gauge shotgun stuck in the middle. The average Southern male would get confused and throw the gun at someone, or use it like a club. And that Submarine! Puh-leeze. Too bad they built it only to find Yankee ships had copper bottoms (Like the English). Nice big coffin. Oh well. At least Neal Young likes Alabama, or so I’ve heard.

    • Freebyrd1968

      Dr. Death is about right for a Yankee. Death cult!!

    • The_Frog_Prince

      You and Andrew Cuomo good buds too I take it?

      • StingRay

        LOL!

    • RLC

      Duh huhh duh huhh..

    • Nan Perkins

      Dr Death – I guess we’ll leave war and the ugly stuff that goes with it with you. We foster love, peace, conservative quiet times with swings on the porch, diving in the swimmin-hole in the moonlight, walks around our beautiful lake, drives through tall pines, and people waving hi. Love those Southern men too. Wouldn’t kick a hog in the rear for Neal Young. Elvis was my man!

      • ironclad

        Some of what you describe is true; but we are not a bunch of limp wristed peace-niks. If your azz needs kicking we ain’t got a problem with scrapping!!

        • Nan Perkins

          yep! You’re right but scrapping is the last resort. I’m not afraid to scrap just want to give the other guy a fighting chance.

    • ironclad

      Uhhh…the LaMat was made in France where a few made it through the blockade. Southerners didn’t cook it up; but they were great for ship boarding when you could get one. And the Hunley; don’t even go there you jackazz she sank the USS Housatonic and the crew of the sub were all volunteers who knew that they were on a possible death mission…they are true heroes in the South.
      We don’t need the Yankee Neil Young!

  • fla.

    Southerners are unique in many ways,Loyal ,faithful, and they provide a good retirement place for Yankees that has screwed up their own houses and turned them into ghettos!

    • StingRay

      So right. As the saying goes, “the only thing wrong with the South, is the North!”

      • Nan Perkins

        SR you are brilliant again!

        • StingRay

          I declare! Merci’.

  • dave

    -10 below here. I fell in love with a wood stove. Still don’t care to go south and I’m not a racist. Some like Fords and some like Dodge. We all different.

    • RLC

      “Still don’t care to go south and I’m not a racist.” Whut?

    • Snoopy

      What the hell does RACE have to do with it? AMERICANS are blessed with many options – it IS a very LARGE country with many different climates AND different people. You may not have chosen to be an American, but I’m betting you are very glad your parents were HERE when you were born. You DO have the choice of where you LIVE. THAT is what comes from BEING an American! But I am ALSO betting you would rather be HERE than just about anywhere else in the world!

    • StingRay

      At the rate the definition of marriage is going, you’ll soon be able to marry that wood stove (and make it your heir).

      • Nan Perkins

        SR – you’re brilliant!!!

      • dave

        Tonight I found myself hugging it, -16 below outside now.

        • StingRay

          I see what you mean; much more practical than a woman, considering!

  • Greg

    I was born North of the Mason Dixon line in Missouri. I am a cowboy/farmer/rancher and actually do raise a lot of cattle, corn, soybeans and wheat. Grow a garden, too. Now for a few questions for ya’all
    If you are born in the south and move north, does that make you a damn Yankee?
    I always address men as Sir, and women as “Ma’am”
    I wear cowboy boots. I also wear Wrangler jeans and a Stetson hat.
    I love the way southern women can turn the word yes into a two syllable word ;)
    So I guess I’m lost……..so what am I??????

    • RLC

      A good neighbor?

    • Snoopy

      A WELCOME transplant! Set your new roots and grow old with the rest of us. You will soon wonder why you didn’t get here sooner!

    • StingRay

      It depends. If you voted for Obama, you’re a f**king idiot. If you didn’t, you can visit the South anytime you want.

  • Trappedincalifornia

    We moved from San Francisco to Dixie last year & love it! Low taxes, beautiful homes, gracious, welcoming people & finally we are not the only conservatives in the room. What’s not to like?

    • Dick

      Transplants from Wisconsin to south western Missouri here (we can see Arkansas from the deck). People are terrific, wonderful weather, beautiful women, houses gorgeous, l-o-w taxes, politically conservative, country music…
      As I tell my frozen friends up north, “I haven’t met one a$$whole in the year we’ve been here, Ya’ll come visit, you won’t want to leave.”

      • Nan Perkins

        Careful Dick – don’t want any frozen rotten apples.

    • Nan Perkins

      I’m from the South by birth but lived around the US and the world. The South is the best kept secret there is so don’t tell your friends :) Welcome aboard!!

  • WayneJ

    Truly! ……….American by birth….and southern by the Grace of God!

    • Snoopy

      And a REBEL by CHOICE!
      LOVE it here… Born and Raised. Left for 7 years in the military, then came straight back! Would not live anywhere else!

  • jtl1

    My President is JEFFERSON DAVIS! :-)

  • ProudGGDOfAConfederateSoldier

    I am happy & proud to be a Southerner!!!!!!!!

  • ProudGGDOfAConfederateSoldier

    I was once told by a Northerners that it was wrong to call people “Sir” & “Madam”. I replied to her “No Madam it isn’t. It’s good manners. It was what I was taught!” She didn’t have a comeback. I’m a few months shy of being 57 years old and I STILL say Sir and Madam to people and will to my dying day. I also open doors for people and say Thank You, You’re Welcome, Have A Good Day, and God Bless.

    • BlueViolets

      I’m a 72 year old Northerner and I was always taught that Sir and Madam or Miss, as the case may be was proper and respectful. I was also taught that anyone not my age or younger was not called by their first name. Mr. or Mrs. was the proper way to address my friends parents.

      • ProudGGDOfAConfederateSoldier

        I agree with you on Mr. And Mrs. I also called relatives Aunt and Uncle rather than using their first names. I am horrified and dismayed at the lack of manners in today’s society.

        • BlueViolets

          I called relatives aunt and uncle too. I had a second cousin that I called aunt because my parents didn’t feel it was respectful to call her by her first name. Years later she asked me to call her by her first name because I was an adult. But she and her husband were and always will be thought of as aunt and uncle. I agree about manners entirely. It takes so little to be kind and gracious and one reaps so much in return.

    • Mort Leith

      It always makes me sad to hear young people (especially naive ill-mannered girls, mostly Yankees) roll their eyes at me when I say Thank You Ma’am as they consider it an insult to be called that….

      THAT is why our society is so messed up,, and they DO move South btw.
      Which I don’t mind one bit,, except they bring the Yankee rudeness and liberal voting with them.

  • Nan Perkins

    love this and I LOVE the South!!

  • Alleged Comment

    I do declare upon looking at the sodomite negro illegally in office that maybe the Southerners did know a thing or two about Negroes, I do declare…..

    And, I do declare the negro and his white liberals handlers are betraying US….

  • Mort Leith

    I couldn’t imagine ever leaving Savannah,,, and whenever I *do*,, it feels SO good to get home….

  • Mort Leith

    It always makes me sad to hear young people (especially naive ill-mannered girls, mostly Yankees) roll their eyes at me when I say Thank You Ma’am as they consider it an insult to be called that….

    THAT is why our society is so messed up,, and they DO move South btw.
    Which I don’t mind one bit,, except they bring the Yankee rudeness and liberal voting with them…

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