Sex, Lies, and The Modern Man: Making a Mess

Men have been lying to get into a woman’s pants since pants were invented. I’m pretty sure that’s why, when Eve handed the apple to Adam with a wink, he took a big chomp. Evie…as long as you keep doing that thing, I’ll eat whatever you want. I’ll even take out the garbage.

It’s no secret our world is more sexualized than ever. It’s not like promiscuity didn’t exist before our time, it’s just everywhere now. The traditional roles of male and female have utterly been assaulted as well. Through feminism, porn, self-centered indulgence, and if it feels good do it mentality we are an anything goes society.

However, our culture also is sincerely attacking formerly lauded manly qualities. Our world wants men to be weak shadows of the kind of testosterone laden G.I.s who stormed Normandy, while women are told they don’t need a man at all. Well that’s good for the women, because at this rate there aren’t very many men around. Plenty of metro-males, but few men. Of course, young men still think about sex constantly. So what is a young, millennial heterosexual to do to impress a young woman?

I would stick with the oldies, but of course, that is because I’m old. Take her to a fancy restaurant. Use manners, chew with your mouth closed, etc. Ask her about her. Insist on paying. Open her doors for her. Don’t take your phone out even once at the dinner table. Tell her she is prettier than all the other girls in the entire world. Heck, maybe even throw in a movie. I know this is all very quaint nowadays, but these time honored traditions caused many a shotgun wedding in their day. Turns out women like being treated like a lady. That was so yesteryear.

Here’s where my article goes a little Doug Giles. Recently, a young lady who is a very close friend of our family had an encounter. The kind of thing that made ‘Big Dawg’ Doug G. publish Ten Rules for Dating My Daughter. http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=pWG8To0hA_U

This friend of ours is single and a Christian. That makes dating its own kind of living hell for a woman. As tends to happen, she was introduced to a guy. A real nice Christian guy, who met with his pastor every week for accountability and read his Bible at night after work. He liked posting about it on Facebook. How spiritual. That’s cool. He’s so neat. They started talking a lot, on their phones, but not with voices, you know, e-talking. They went on a couple dates, (platonic dates – not hook up dates). She was getting pretty interested; until Mr. Millennial Man had to break it off…he was going to go to seminary and needed to focus on Jesus. He disappeared into the rear view mirror of, oh well, that didn’t work out, until yesterday. His dumb@$$, limp-wristed, poser-infested, hormone-driven, disrespectful, moronic, pubescent, virtual-self reared its ugly, empty, head.

After months with no word and with stunning bravery, out of the blue he Facebook Instant Messaged my dear friend. Yeah, back in the ‘80’s we had to call girls on the phone and use our voice to try to talk them into doing stupid crap with us. Now these pansies type everything, as if it’s talking. Duh. I’m assuming the nexus for his message came from a Cosmo article this punk read at the salon as he got a mini-pedi and waxed his brows and balls. I’m quite sure the article was titled something like this, “Ten Ways To Make a Good Girl Sleep With You”. #1. Tell her the truth.

Honesty is generally a good policy, but it’s never a good idea to tell any girl the real thoughts you’ve had about her. Every boy with a boner knows that. Well this guy took it to heart. Here’s some of the back and forth.

Boy: Hey, how’re you? I am good. Would you like to have a sexual relationship with me? Just putting some feelers out there.

Girl: You’re such a freak!

Boy: Well, I have given it some thought. And I decided we should really explore this option.

Girl::You did, huh? What brought you to that conclusion?

Boy: Well, I thought it would be a great way to exercise our instincts and biological necessities. Create a stress free life through this avenue. A release if you will… You seem like a very viable candidate, in a few ways.

Girl: “Viable candidate” – nice.

Boy: Yes, viable indeed.

Girl: It sounds so very clinical

Boy: A bit, but that’s just the technical side.

Girl: What then for the emotional side of life?

Boy: Well, it would have to be tempered. No love. No ultimate attachment, etc.

I can’t print the rest. You get the idea how that went over. All I can say is, what a moron!

Every guy has thought this would be a fantastic setup since the dawn of man. Men have been trying for arrangements like this for eternity. It’s why buying drinks for women was invented. If this wasn’t so pathetic it would be funny. I’m afraid to know how many girls this actually works on. This wouldn’t be worth writing about if this had been an exchange in a bar where hooking up is what you do.

If this is the state of our young Christian men, then we are closer to the apocalypse than I thought. I’m sure God will forgive him for his backslide, but I’d just as soon kick his backside into the Iowa River – old man style.

C’mon, younger generation! Watch some Bogart movies or something! No girl is going to sleep with you because she is a viable option to your biological necessities! Are you freaking kidding me? If that’s what we’ve raised up, we’re doomed.

Author, S.C. Sherman’s latest novel titled Mercy Shot is available for purchase at www.scsherman.com and Kindle version is available on Amazon.com. Contact Steve via email steve@scsherman.com. Also, go LIKE www.facebook.com/mercyshot to stay up to date on all things Mercy Shot.

Doug ‘The Big Dawg’ Giles’ reviews Mercy Shot: “Mercy Shot is a riveting, modern tale of the twisted and insidious war that’s being waged against our Second Amendment rights. S.C. Sherman does a great job of forecasting in this timely tome of how things could possibly go down. My advice is to a.)Read this book and b.) Buy a stack of guns and ammo, pretty damn quick. Molon Labe.” –Doug Giles, CEO of ClashDaily.com