Getting 7.1 million people enrolled in Obamacare is no easy feat – because it is likely to be too good to be true. Matt Walsh points out the real reason why some people might be so mad about this whole thing.
Dear Mr. Obama,
Congratulations on getting 7.1 million people enrolled in Obamacare before the March 31st deadline!
Not to muddy the festivities by harping on technicalities, but I thought I’d pass along just a few corrections, in case you plan on giving anymore speeches or anything:
Alright, by ‘March 31st’ you mean ‘sometime in April,’ and by ‘deadline’ you mean ‘suggestion which is subject to change.’
And, obviously, by ‘enrolled’ you mean ‘people who have filled some information out on a website.’
And by ’7.1 million’ you mean ‘probably like 858 thousand or something.’
In your speech on Tuesday, when you said that Obamacare is ‘the law’ and ‘it’s here to stay,’ you really meant that Obamacare is ‘a fluid and constantly adjusted set of unconstitutional decrees, which can be imposed or withdrawn by the Executive Branch at any point, for any reason, up to 21 times and counting.’ And by ‘here to stay,’ you actually meant to say that ‘most of it is neither here nor staying, because you don’t want America to feel the full brunt of it until after the midterm elections.’
You claimed that ‘more than 3 million young adults have gained insurance’ by staying on their parents’ plan. Even if that were true, it seems to take for granted that there’s anything remotely positive about the government forcing insurance companies to treat 25-year-old men and women like children. But, more importantly, it isn’t.
Indeed, when you said ‘more than 3 million,’ you really meant ‘extrapolations based on faulty estimates conjured up by Health and Human Services almost two years ago have brought us to the dubious conclusion that we can claim 3 million, because nobody will understand how we arrived at that figure, and most everyone will be too lazy to even attempt to check our numbers.’
You appeared to venture into the vicinity of truth when you stated that Obamacare is ‘doing what it’s supposed to do,‘ but then you forgot to stipulate what, precisely, that happens to be.
It has not, nor was it meant to, make insurance cheaper and more accessible – but it has stripped away choice and freedom, and made more people dependent on the government.
It has forced single men and elderly couples and nuns to pay for maternity care and birth control. Likewise, it has compelled everyone to purchase coverage for psychiatric illness and drug addiction treatment, even if we aren’t necessarily psychiatrically ill or addicted to drugs (though, with your help, the pharmaceutical industry will soon get us all under one or both of those umbrellas).
Read more: The Matt Walsh Blog