Sandra Fluke’s Heartache: Teenagers Go Bareback

The headline could read a million things if it was a headline, but it isn’t. The Huffington Puffington Post didn’t even run a story about it and they love sex stories. This story should be front page stuff over there, but it isn’t. It should be all over the regular media outlets, but it’s not. Why not? Because it shows what a horrible failure and waste of money everything we’ve done to educate kids about condoms. A complete and utter failure.

A recent study showed that condom use by teenagers has dropped by 63% over the last decade. You read that right. 63% fewer kids are using the protection than ten years ago. That’s with our leftists freely passing out and promoting condom use for a decade. Sandra Fluke just had a heart attack. How could this be? Don’t they know the risks? What’s wrong with kids today? There’s pregnancy of course, then there are so many new diseases out there and the old ones are bad, too. C’mon kids you gotta wrap that rascal!

Well, the kids have answered with a resounding, No thanks. This study actually ticks me off for several reasons. The biggest one being that my sweet daughter had to undergo some of the indoctrination this last year. She was a wee-lass of 15 when it happened. Our government funded public school felt it should train the little kiddies in the ways of condom use. I mean how else would the little morons figure out what to do with it. Not like back in the ’80’s when boys would sneak into a truck stop bathroom with a couple quarters and see what the heck was in those little square packages with fun names like, Rough Rider, Obsession, and For Her! It only took a couple dollars worth of quarters and a little private practice time and most of us had the whole condom thing figured out. We didn’t need a two week unit on it in school!

Anyway, back to my sweet princess. We are a Christian home, and she may be sweet, but we train our kids in the ways of the world. My wife and I always figured it was better to hear the dirt from us than some little punk in the locker room. So she knew what she was getting into with this sex education class. However, I didn’t know just how far the training would go! My little sweetie and all her classmates had to place a condom on a wooden penis in front of the teacher and the class for a grade. Yes, that’s right; she was graded on how well she put that rubber on. Don’t put it on backwards; you might get a “B”. Definitely, don’t drop it; you’d probably get a “C” for unsanitary practices. And for goodness sake, don’t tear that thing, you could fail for sure.

When she told me about this, she made me sit down. She knows me pretty well. After my eyes began to focus again, I asked her what grade she got. She said an A. I said I’m not sure how I feel about that. She responded, “I’m not going to lose my four point over some dumb thing any idiot could do. I smiled and said, “Perfect answer honey.”

All I can say is I don’t think my maturity level in high school could have handled that. I wasn’t really a class clown because I was too nervous back then, but I’m pretty sure me and some of my compadres would’ve had a field day with a class like that. I can see it now, just as someone slipped that condom on the fake wiener, somebody would say something like, is it raining outside? Try a raincoat. And you know some kid from the back row would call out, No glove, no love! Hysteria would ensue and I definitely didn’t have a four point to worry about!

All kidding aside, what’s going on? Why have the young slappy’s rejected all of the training that was supposed to protect them from being as stupid as all of us? A 63% drop in usage? I’ll tell you what happened. A couple kids somewhere went rogue. They stole some of daddy’s PBR and got a little frisky. One thing led to another, no protection was at hand, they go all Adam and Eve and it’s over. Ten years of indoctrination out the window! Meatloaf was blasting through the truck stereo by the dashboard light! Then it started. Billy Joe Bob and Daisy May took to Twitter and Snapchat cause only old people are on Facebook. They started telling their promiscuous friends, Guess what we did!… it went viral and the % of condom use started dropping like a rock and here we are.

In business, if you lose 63% of your market that’s a bloodbath. It’s over. Stop giving rubbers away for free. No one uses free crap. Make kids pay 50 cents and they might come back in fashion, but I doubt it. Anyway, I’m done. Here’s my spiel. Abstain. Get married, do it all you want, and save the environment by never using plastic.

Author, S.C. Sherman’s latest novel titled Mercy Shot is available for purchase at www.scsherman.com and Kindle version is available on Amazon.com. Contact Steve via email steve@scsherman.com. Also, go LIKE www.facebook.com/mercyshot to stay up to date on all things Mercy Shot.

Doug ‘The Big Dawg’ Giles’ reviews Mercy Shot:
Mercy Shot is a riveting, modern tale of the twisted and insidious war that’s being waged against our Second Amendment rights. S.C. Sherman does a great job of forecasting in this timely tome of how things could possibly go down. My advice is to a.) Read this book and b.) Buy a stack of guns and ammo, pretty damn quick. Molon Labe“.-–Doug Giles, CEO of ClashDaily.com

Image: Courtesy of: http://theorytopracticeeduc420.wikispaces.com/Lev+Vygotsky

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S.C. Sherman

About the author, S.C. Sherman: S.C. Sherman grew up a farm kid in rural Iowa. He graduated from the University of Iowa with a degree in Communications Studies. Steve is a business owner, and recently ran for Iowa State House of Representatives.. S.C. enjoys political commentary and great stories. He has written three fiction novels found at scsherman.com. He currently lives with his wife and four children in North Liberty, Iowa. View all articles by S.C. Sherman

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