[Editor: Reminder, Constitution Day was celebrated yesterday, September 17. With that in mind …]
From the look of this discovery, this looks like a class about the U.S. Constitution that even journalist wonder boy Ezra “the Constitution is too confusing because it was written over 100 years ago” Klein would love! Check it out!
Course: Constitutional Law
Professor: (I’m actually an adjunct lecturer, but that’s PROFESSOR to you, Jack !) Barack Hussein Obama
Office Hours: Scheduled 10 a.m.-12 noon, Tuesday. If I’m not there by noon, slip a note under the door, send me an email, or check the basketball courts, nearby golf courses, and the Waffle House near campus. You might find me. Is it really that important? Can’t I just finish my waffle?
Class Meeting: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 3:35 p.m.-4:45 pm
Welcome to Con Law! Most of you have probably heard of the U.S. Constitution, or maybe not. Either way, this is class for you (because it’s required to complete your law degree. If it were up to me, well, just sayin’…) We’ll explore the ins and outs of this quaint, archaic document. Is it still relevant? (yeah right. Play along. Remember, it’s a required course.) Why does it say that we’re all equal when so far the United States has failed to come even close to making that happen? How could this thing ever be anything but an unmitigated mess when it was written by a bunch of rich, slave-owning, white Europeans? Don’t you see how ridiculous it is to think it could be anything else? That’s what this class is about. That, and more important, how can we keep this thing from stopping us from doing what everyone knows is right in terms of social justice and diversity.
Required Text: Wrong and Dangerous: Ten Right Wing Myths about Our Constitution, Garrett Epps
Race, Racism and American Law, Derrick Bell
A People’s History of the United States, Howard Zinn
And We Are Not Saved: The Elusive Quest for Racial Justice, Derrick Bell
Police Brutality: An Anathology, Jill Nelson
Faces at the Bottom of the Well: The Permanence of Racism, Derrick Bell
12 Years a Slave (I can’t remember who wrote it, but since you’re probably sick of reading, just see the movie.)
Write a paper on one of the following topics:
The Many Penumbras in the Constitution: Just Exactly What’s in Them? How do we find one when we need it?
Alexander Hamilton’s Surprising Passion for Abortion on Demand
James Madison’s Secret Gay Life
Why does the Constitution Have to be So Confusing? Can’t We Just Decide What We Think It Says and Call it A Day?
To familiarize students with the many deficiencies in the U.S. Constitution, most of all that it is a document of “negative liberties.” (Seriously, what would you expect from a thing written by a bunch of dead white European slave owners? C’mon. I mentioned before how ludicrous that is! They didn’t understand all that the government can do for you!)
To expose you to the truth about the relentless racism, sexism, homophobia and unfairness of America, as memorialized in the Constitution.
To equip you with the arguments you need to respond to right-wing talking points like “There is no separation of church and state in the Constitution,” “The 2nd Amendment memorializes a right of free men and women to keep and bear arms,” and “The Constitution exists to limit the size of the federal government.” As if!
To give you the informed perspective that you need to understand why the best way to fix the many deficiencies of the Constitution is for judges, the right kind of judges, that is, and you’ll learn what I mean, to just fix it, damn it!
Introduction to the Constitution of the United States
The Nature of the Constitution
The Purposes, Features and Themes (otherwise known as Oppression, Subjugation and White Supremacy)
The Bill of Rights (so-called)
Article I: The Legislative “Power,” or Do What the President Says or Else, Yes He Can!
Article II and the Executive Power, or Whatever it Takes to Help People with the Fierce Urgency of NOW!
Article III: Judicial Review (Lest the bitter clinging, racist people in the middle of the country try to stop the federal government from helping people)
Judicial Supremacy (Hell yes!)
Separation of Powers-Ain’t got time for that!
Federalism-See “Separation of Powers”
Teri O’Brien, America’s Original Conservative Warrior Princess; Host of the Teri O’Brien Show, recipient of Red State Talk Radio’s “Talk Show of the Year” award and author of The ABC’s of Barack Obama: Understanding God’s Greatest Gift to America