FRUSTRATION IN HELL: The Screwtape Election

by William Spencer-Hale
Clash Daily Contributor

(with humble respect owed to the characters and situations created by C.S. Lewis)

November 1, 2014

My dear Wormwood,

My favorite nephew and young, novice demon, I understand your anxiety in regards to your indecisive patient, so close to the election. This is normal for these modern times. The masses are so fixated on instant gratification – Twitter, Facebook, texting and selfies – that they are often unaware of the world around them. Use this to your advantage. Steer your young patient away from any true information. Keep her ignorant!

If you can keep her away from Internet sites such as The Daily Caller, American Thinker and Townhall; instead, gently pushing her in the direction of The Daily Kos, Mother Jones and The Huffington Post and insuring she receives her news from MSNBC, you will find your task to be rather easy.

Remember, truth is the enemy of our mission and Our Father Below. If you show only one side of the argument, your patient will have no inner conflict and will, instead, vote for the loudest lie. Be patient and stay on course. I had the same fears when I was an up-and-coming demon. Do not spend your quiet moments in worry. As a Demon Lord I can assure you the humans are simple to deceive. Just have some faith in yourself; Our Father Below will guide you.

Your affectionate uncle,

SCREWTAPE

November 2, 2014

My dear Wormwood,

I understand your fears, but believe them to be unfounded. Although your patient attended Mass this morning, it is simply no reason to be so upset. Rest assured, the Church of the Enemy no longer teaches morality in relation to politics. The church is weak and frightened, and cleverly maneuvers around topics, such as gay marriage, abortion and the like, that some would find objectionable, in order to assure the coffers are filled to overflowing.

The Church Militant is simply, well, not militant, my naive nephew. I am certain your patient left Mass with rainbows in her heart rather than a fire in her belly. If anything, the Church of the Enemy may have helped you in your task. There are only two days left to the election. You are doing fine. Have faith in Our Father Below that our minions will remain in power come the new year.

Your affectionate uncle,

SCREWTAPE

November 3, 2014

My dear Wormwood,

I am genuinely disturbed by your latest letter. After our intimate and detailed correspondence, discussing the best ways to insure your patient remains ignorant so as to most likely vote for our infernal agenda, explain to me how she sneaked past you and discovered Clash Daily. This is not a fortunate turn of events.

As we discussed earlier, truth is our enemy. Only by ignorance, apathy and subterfuge are we to win the day. Case in point, our agent in Massachusetts, Mr. Gruber. Jonathan Gruber tricked the humans into believing they would receive something for nothing. Imagine the preposterous nature of such an idea. Even for a simple, superficial intellect, how is such a thing possible? Simple, my dear nephew: lies told loudly, repeatedly and with the same veracity as if they were truth will always defeat the lost and wayward mind, and a heart not firmly anchored in the Son of the Enemy.

You must act quickly to insure the plague of information found on Clash Daily does not infect your patient. Perhaps there is a re-run of the latest popular reality show; push her in this direction, if possible, so as to cleanse her thoughts of any tangible, concrete truths. It is the eleventh hour. You must not fail.

Your affectionate uncle,

SCREWTAPE

November 4, 2014

My dear Wormwood,

The polls have been closed for a couple of hours and my thoughts are grim. Despite our best intentions — skewed polls, lying to women and minorities, buying votes, stoking racial hatred and catering to the whims of the most immoral among the humans — it seems as though the Enemy will seize the day. Not only did our agents lose the Senate and dramatically increase their majority in the House, but it looks as though they will increase their domination in Alaska and Louisiana in the weeks to come. In addition, now an overbearing majority of state houses have fallen to the Enemy. It could take generations to train and nurture a new breed of agents capable of deceiving the humans again.

The fires in Hell will burn bright tonight and the air will be filled with the screams of the punished for this epic failure. Our Father Below is angry.

I can only hope that you at least succeeded with your patient. After all, it’s your quiet and persistent urgings in the mind of your patients that keeps the waiting room in Hell eternally full. Field agents such as yourself are truly the path to Hell.

Your affectionate uncle,

SCREWTAPE

November 5, 2014

Wormwood,

I have no words that could adequately describe my disappointment in you. You will know the kiss of fire for your failure and I suggest you report to Bureau Re-Education for your punishment. You will have Hell to pay for this. As we all will, I fear. I only hope our agents in the field, like Jonathan Gruber, will not let their egos get the best of them and brag about their deceptions and shine a light on our infernal agenda.

SCREWTAPE

Image: https://www.flickr.com/photos/8910911@N08/4007305361/

William HaleWilliam Hale is a polymath, a conundrum amongst his friends and coworkers, a man whose interests run contrary to modern stereotypes. William is equally adept at both trapshooting and pastels portraiture, armed defense instruction and Christian philosophy. A veteran of the Cold War who served as a Pershing crew member during very worrisome times, his faith runs deep and his knowledge of history is formidable. This combination gives him an understanding and insight into the intertwined physical and spiritual aspects of life that few understand. His gift is that he has no fear of the evils he perceives and is able to explain the world around him to those who listen.

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