RESTRUCTURING THE FEDERAL GOVERMENT–Football Style

With the Super Bowl just days away, some people have probably diverted their attention to politics while anticipating the big game, considering 1) there is the bye week in which there is no football (except for the all-star games that no one really watches); and 2) the State of the Union Address (it is likely not a lot of people watched that).

But when it comes to politics, one thing is certain: the federal government is too big. Thus, it needs to be downsized via restructuring. And by restructuring, I am referring to the elimination, privatization (i.e. selling), consolidating, and transferring of various government agencies to state or local governments.

To make this restructuring of the federal government more interesting, I would like to present this plan via football style. In fact, I will present it in the form of the triple option offense.

Note: I am aware the triple option offense (or any option offense for that matter) is hardly used in the NFL. I find it a more fun comparison to use in order to present this plan.

For those of you who may not be aware of the triple option offense, it actually consists of four options: 1) the quarterback hands the ball to the fullback, 2) the quarterback pitches the ball to the running back (a.k.a. tailback, a.k.a. halfback), 3) the quarterback runs with the ball, and 4) the quarterback passes the ball. Now I will implement these plays into my restructuring plan.

The first of these options, handing the ball to the fullback, would be the equivalent of eliminating government agencies. Such agencies would include the Federal Reserve System, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), the Department of Education, and the Department of Energy. It’s a pretty simple play.

The second option (pitching the ball to the tailback) would be the same as selling off government agencies, such as the United States Postal Service, Amtrak, the Smithsonian, the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA), and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC).

Then there is the option of the quarterback running with the ball. Consolidating government agencies could be the equivalent of this play. I have several examples for this scenario. For instance, the Department of Justice can obtain the Department of Homeland Security, except for the United States Coast Guard (which can be placed under the Department of Defense), the Transportation Security Agency (TSA) — it can be eliminated (and replaced with private security companies) or perhaps privatized, and the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) — it can be put under the Department of Health & Human Services (and no longer be a martial law agency).

Other examples consist of the Department of Defense obtaining the Selective Service System and the Department of Veterans Affairs, the Department of Commerce obtaining the Securities & Exchange Commission (SEC) and the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), and the Department of the Interior obtaining the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

Finally, the quarterback has the option of throwing the ball. The federal government transferring any of its departments, agencies, etc. to any state or local government would be the equivalent of this play. Examples for this play consist of transferring the Denali Commission to the State of Alaska, and transferring the Presidio Trust to the City of San Francisco.

So there you have it. Just as the triple option offense can be effective in the game of football, restructuring the federal government can be just as effective when it comes to political science.

Enjoy the Super Bowl.

Image: https://www.flickr.com/

image

Andrew Linn

About the author, Andrew Linn: Andrew Linn is a member of the Owensboro Tea Party and a former Field Representative for the Media Research Center. An ex-Democrat, he became a Republican one week after the 2008 Presidential Election. He has an M.A. in history from the University of Louisville, where he became a member of the Phi Alpha Theta historical honors society. He has also contributed to examiner.com and Right Impulse Media. View all articles by Andrew Linn

Like Clash? Like Clash.

Leave a Comment

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment where we can engage in reasonable discourse.