PARENTS’ TREATING CHILDREN AS EQUALS: Big Problem for Our Day

Today’s news reported that a well-known singer has become pregnant at 50.

She had decided to implant embryos that she had had frozen at the age of 31.

Her reason for a pregnancy at this time being that it was time to give her 6 year old son, Dashiell, a sibling.

She said, “Dashiell is increasingly independent of me, yet he’s still very engaged in his childhood. Dashiell and I have had the magical twosome for six adventurous years, that intense focus of an only child and a single mother, and we are ready to invite a new and unknown dynamic into our lives.”

Congratulations to her, the miracle of modern science has made something previously almost impossible, quite possible.

Today’s woman is able to raise a child on her own as well.

The question that comes to mind is why are women and men today increasingly raising their children as equals and or their partner in the family?

Well known child psychologist, John Rosemond, advocates returning to the common sense approach of our grandparents.

He makes the case that today’s woman and or parent has become a slave to the children well past the age of necessity.

He advocates that there are three seasons of mothering/parenting a child.

Season one, the season of service, is birth to two years old, understandably the time when a parent anticipates and serves the child’s needs.

Between the ages of two and three, the parent should make a significant transition by redefining the position of the relationship. The parent should take the child out of the center of attention and place themselves as the child’s center.

Season two, the decade of discipline, the ages of three to thirteen, is the most critical, as the parent will provide leadership and discipline. It will be natural for the child to rebel, but in order for him or her to aspire to emulate the parent, this must be a time to present authority in a calm manner. Boundaries need to be set and responsibilities given in order to make the child feel a part of the family.

In order to prevent the parent from being frozen in the season one phase, it is necessary to significantly lower the level of doing for the child.

Secondly, boundaries between the parent and child need to be set.

Thirdly, and most importantly, the parent needs to reclaim their marriage or relationship in front of the child.

It is normal for a child to grow and begin a life of their own.

It is an extreme burden of guilt and responsibility to make the child your partner or companion.

As an adult, it is your responsibility to rear a child and prepare him or her as best possible to live an adult life of their own.

The child should not have to feel regretful upon growing and leaving the parent behind. A parent should have an outside life of their own, freeing the child to move on, as is the natural process.

The role of parent and child should not be reversed. It is an emotional detriment to both parties.

Single parents are not necessarily the problem, perhaps, today’s society has placed so much emphasis on the parent child relationship, that the adult spouse / companion bond has been misplaced.

Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/edenpictures/5873013688/

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Candace Hardin

About the author, Candace Hardin: Candace Hardin resides in Atlanta, Georgia. She fluent in Spanish and a student of Latin and history. She is a columnist on PolitiChicks.tv. and has a blog, kandisays.blogspot.com. Originally from North Carolina, her writing and beliefs have been heavily influenced by the Appalachian culture and tradition. View all articles by Candace Hardin

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