BUILDING A CALIPHATE FOR LOSERS: ISIS Attracts All the Winners

Joshua Ray Van Haften. He’s the latest butt-clown busted for trying to join ISIS. He says he was into Jihad. Sure.

That’s why he went on-line, sent a bunch of money to ISIS, then flew to Turkey where he was shocked to find that no one was there to sneak him into Syria. Of course they weren’t! Joshie Boy, they were partying down like it was 1099 AD on your dime son. No worries, you did your part to support their jihad.

So he flew back to Wisconsin. And was promptly busted at the airport for providing aid to a terrorist organization.

Arrests aren’t a new thing for Joshie Boy. Reports indicate he was busted in the late 1990s for sexual battery and disorderly conduct.

In other words, Van Allah Akbar Haften is typical of the scum ISIS desires. Two bit loser. Cuffed and stuffed once because he couldn’t perform like a man and engage in amorous relations with another. And later because he couldn’t do anything other than behave like a fool.

What a Caliphate you have there ISIS! Such a paradise you have constructed, Al-Baghdadi, using brothers in your ummah like Van Haften! This is your representation of Islam? This? Really?

More integrity can be found in places like Compton than in the Islamic State’s borders.

Don’t drop the soap jihading in prison Van Haften. Don’t you either, Al-Baghdadi, when your day comes son.

Caliphate indeed.

Image: https://envisioningutopia.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/the-trials-and-tribulations-of-teaching-gcse-sociology/

About the author: Andrew Allen

Andrew Allen

Andrew Allen (@aandrewallen) grew up in the American southeast and for more than two decades has worked as an information technoloigies professional in various locations around the globe. A former far-left activist, Allen became a conservative in the late 1990s following a lengthy period spent questioning his own worldview. When not working IT-related issues or traveling, Andrew Allen spends his time discovering new ways to bring the pain by exposing the idiocy of liberals and their ideology.

View all articles by Andrew Allen

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