KENYAN LAWYER WANTS TO BUY MALIA OBAMA: And The Offer Is HILARIOUS

We’ll sell you the whole family for that.

Kenyan lawyer Felix Kiprono won’t settle for anyone besides his dream girl—who happens to be Malia Obama—and says he’s willing to pay a king’s ransom in livestock to get her.

Kiprono told the Nairobian that he hopes to discuss a potential matchmaking deal with the 16-year-old’s father, Barack Obama, when the U.S. president visits his country in July.

“I got interested in [Malia] in 2008,” when she was just 10 years old, Kiprono said. “As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family, and they are willing to help me raise the bride price.”

What kind of sum are we talking about? Kiprono’s math comes out to an offer of 70 sheep, 50 cows, and 30 precious goats—which would go a long way toward turning the White House into the organic farming commune that Michelle Obamahas envisioned ever since moving in.

Read more: The Daily Dot

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