Dear Jeb (or should I say “Jeb!”):
As you may know if you have been reading my scribbling, or listening to The Teri O’Brien Show, I’m not supporting you, but at some point, when it becomes too painful to watch you anymore, my sense of compassion kicks in, and I feel the need to help someone so pathetic. I mean, it’s just cruel to watch Donald Trump call you a low-energy loser. Does he realize how hard it is for someone in the middle of an 8-year coma to run for president, or even to run for the bus? I think not. I, on the other hand, want to help, so consider the following some advice.
Don’t stand in profile.
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen any of the video of yourself at one of your town hall meetings, but let me tell you, I have, and when you stand in profile, you look like Quasimodo. You look like you couldn’t win an arm wrestling contest with Betty White. What are you—200 years old? With your round-shouldered, sad sack posture you look like you’re auditioning for the role of Willie Loman in Death of a Salesman. Dude, this is NOT the posture of a confident person. It’s actually not even the posture of a person. It’s more like the posture of an invertebrate, an amoeba sounds about right. Some yoga, or Pilates perhaps, might help. Or one of those “Perfect Posture” invisible braces that they sell on cable TV, especially on the network that is in the tank for you, Fox News. Maybe they could get you a discount.
Don’t speak Spanish on the campaign trial.
No one cares that you can speak Spanish, other than, of course, people who are going to vote for Democrats. Seriously, I don’t care what Karl Rove and Steve Schmidt tell you, it doesn’t matter that you speak Spanish, or that your wife is a Mexican. I know, I know. She’s a “Mexican-American,” but she was born in Mexico, something that your supporters often cite as a huge resume enhancement for you. It’s not.
Juana, who cleans the bathrooms at one of my favorite restaurants, speaks Spanish and is married to a Mexican. Like you, she seems like a nice person, but that’s hardly the most important qualification for being the Leader of the Free World. So stop it now.
Another reason that you need to stop speaking Spanish when you’re campaigning is that you, and other advocates of “comprehensive immigration reform” (read amnesty), keep telling us that part of this deal will be that the illegals currently in the country will have to “learn English.” We heard the same yip yap back in 2007, leading me to ask at the time, whether we were going to have an English proficiency posse administering pop quizzes to these “New Americans.”
If it’s important for illegals given the amnesty that you advocate speak English, than shouldn’t you be setting a good example? OF COURSE you should!
Lose the love and diversity talk.
I’ve never heard your response to Donald Trump’s very accurate description of the illegal alien crime spree that the Lame Stream Media has been desperately trying to cover up to protect the Obama Regime. They see the invasion by millions of poor, desperate, semi-literate people as their ticket to victory at the polls, and limp-wristed, clueless, East Coast Brain Rot afflicted Establishment Republicans are desperate to bend over backwards to help them accomplish this important objective. Their view, one that those who don’t oppose amnesty are helping to facilitate, is if a few Americans have to be raped or murdered, so be it. Do you really think that the murderous members of MS-13 who arrived from El Salvador came here out of “love?” How about the murderers of Kate Steinle or Marilyn Pharis? I did hear your response to Mr. Trump’s suggestion that you speak English. You went on ABC’s Good Moron America, a perfect venue to reach the emotionally-driven pinheads who might be inclined to support you, and claim that Mr. Trump’s comments mean that he doesn’t support “diversity.” Newsflash: We support assimilation, not the balkanization that those who want to destroy our culture euphemistically call “diversity.” Grow up.
Just drop out now.
Seriously. Don’t you have better things to do? In case you hadn’t noticed, we the people aren’t fond of the concept of dynasties. The notion that someone has an entitlement to be president because of his last name, or something embedded in his DNA doesn’t fly with us. Even if Hillary Clinton isn’t indicted for her obvious violation of the Espionage Act, she still needs to go away, too. We’ve had enough Clintons and Bushes. Plus, if you gracefully exit now, we can all avoid another slow-motion train wreck like the ones we experienced in 2008 and 2012.
Do yourself and the country a favor. Go back to Florida, put on some shorts, black socks and a sun hat, and leave governing to someone who doesn’t look like he needs a defibrillator to get his heart started in the morning.
Politics, Pop Culture, the Hottest Issues of the Day, the flagship show of the Informed America Radio network, The Teri O’Brien Show, featuring America’s Original Conservative Warrior Princess, Live and in vivid red, white and blue, Sundays 5-7 pm Eastern time (4-6 pm Central) at teriobrien.com and http://www.spreaker.com/show/the-teri-obrien-show, and anytime on demand on iHeart Radio, Stitcher Radio, and iTunes.
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