Do you know someone who suffers from being constantly offended at everything in life? Then this could be exactly what they need.
Introducing the new drug that is helping people everywhere get over themselves:
You might need to ask your Doctor about this if you exhibit behavior similar to those portrayed in this video:
This drug may also be helpful for those experiencing the following symptoms:
People who are hypersensitive
Hypersensitive guys have been around forever, but their numbers have increased in the wake of political correctness. They get offended because they see life as having a certain set of rules. For example, knock-knock jokes are fine, but jokes about women’s knockers are out. It’s not that the joke or topic offends them; it’s just that they play by the rules, while other guys get away with saying what they think.
People who think all comments are targeted at them
You know these guys; they’re egomaniacs. It’s one thing to be a little neurotic, but it’s something else entirely to think that the world revolves around you. Most of the time, these guys get offended about comments that couldn’t possibly be directed at them, but because they think the whole world is talking about them all the time , they believe every comment must be about them. These are the guys who tell you that you can’t tell a Polish joke because a distant relative of theirs once considered taking a vacation in Poland.
People who don’t read properly
I’ll only say this once: You’ve got to read the whole article. If you don’t read the whole article, don’t complain. I don’t even think the guys who freak out after reading only part of the article are easily offended. In fact, they might be reasonable guys. But because they fail to take that extra step to understand what they’ve read, they fly off the handle without justification.
The topics people get easily offended about and how to avoid losing your cool… (Ask Men)
Once you have taken this drug, apply the following concepts to your life:
“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs,
neither cast ye your pearls before swine,
lest they trample them under their feet,
and turn again and rend you.”
– Jesus Christ
There’s a massive contrast between the weighty and satirical, the masculine and hilarious modes of communication employed by the inspired biblical characters versus the nicer-than-Christ goo served up by some sweeties in Christendom. Have you noticed?
If you have, does this freak you out as much as it does me? Am I the only one who notices this type of preaching, writing, commentary and singing and thinks, “Are you kidding me?”
As I see it, much of the clergy, the church, Christian music and Christian literature have become pathetically soft and have lost their holy punch. This in turn is causing our nation to go down the crapper and souls to be forever lost. If you don’t think the church is becoming lame then take this Nestea challenge: From now on when you read the scripture, pay close attention when you land on a chunk of text in which Moses, Joshua, David, Elijah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, John the Baptist, Paul or Jesus is engaged in dialogue with a corrupt impenitent politician, an idiotic idolater, a pompous Pharisee or a vacillating vixen. You won’t see these searing saints doling out nicety-nice stuff 24/7. Nope, they’ll be challenging, oft times ridiculing, the very ground the impenitent unbeliever or the feigned professor stands on. Not only that. You will rarely see God’s holy ones repenting of the verbal invectives they have aimed at their audience’s willful blindness.
Concerning these greatest of biblical characters, we not only see great acts of compassion toward the repentant; we also see an unapologetic verbal “gloves-off” approach with someone God wants and needs His spokesman to offend.
Hey, PC police! These Holy Spirit inspired men of the Bible were godly figures of great antagonism who insisted on battling bogus belief systems and telling the truth, frequently at the expense of a person’s person. And get this: It was God who egged His vessels on to give offense. Give it – it’s a gift.
The greats of the Bible excelled not only at biblical insight and break-through-to-the-other-side intercession; they also had an incredible wit about them that God didn’t mind at all. In fact, He joyfully endorsed and eternally preserved it in the canon of scripture for future generations to read and chuckle over.
From a communication standpoint, the prophets, patriarchs, warriors and wild men of scripture were more like sandpaper than a wet wipe. Many of our Biblical heroes, especially the emcees of the various main events, were holy satirists – mental and spiritual heavyweights with a verbal whip that they didn’t mind using on whomever, whenever it was necessary.
One of the chief signs of the Church’s abysmal condition is its refusal to call a spade a spade (in love, of course) both inside and outside the Church, and have a side-splitting, obedient, good time doing it. Both in scripture and in the annals of church history we have great examples of reformers who “saved the day” and “bettered tomorrow” because they obeyed God through tornado-like use of both tongue and pen.
If, if, we truly desire revival, reform and a national renaissance, then get ready for the spiritual wrecking cranes, i.e., the prophets, to come in. When the prophets poked the pompous, when they mocked the haughty and religiously arrogant, when they wreaked havoc on stale religious and political symbolism: they were clearing the ground for fresh, godly growth. I know it may seem ugly at times, but it can be fun, and it can effect change. That is, if we understand it, cheer it on and yield to it – especially when it’s aimed at us.
As always, consult your physician…and then grow a pair!