Hillary Is Fit for BINGO — But Is She Fit For President?

by Michael Karolchyk
Clash Daily Guest Contributor

Everyone is asking the wrong question these days; is Hillary Clinton going to be president is the common question put to the Swift-like yahoos of the Main stream media. The bricks of cash in her library from foreign governments, The Benghazi, Uranium gate, File gate, waging war on coal, helping child rapists be sprung from prison are all fair and legitimate topics to be discussed about Hillary. However, I am a fitness expert so I will focus on this one: is Hillary fit to be president?

First, I must confess I don’t like writing this story because my Nana always taught me to respect my elders. Also, my mother is now a 70-year-old nana and those two ladies are two of the three most important woman in my life (Jennifer love Hewitt is still the most important girl in my life; sorry Nana and mom). I was instilled to respect your elders by my Nana and Grandfather so as I type on my keyboard I almost feel my ears burning; my grandfather would pull my ear if I ever showed disrespect to my elders.

However, I have a great duty to my country and my readers to expose the truth on Hillary’s fitness. Sadly, my research has led me to conclude that Hillary should be in charge of her bingo card and not our country. Hillary is 69 going on 90 years old. All the years of not working out, eating properly, duplicity, selling her soul for library profits have aged her prematurely and left her a coughing, listless and senile woman.

Matt Drudge was the first to attack Hillary’s awful health after she had continuous coughing attacks during the Benghazi Select committee testimony and more recently on the campaign trail in Iowa and West Virginia. Then it was later revealed that Hillary fainted from being exhausted from walking too much and fell and hit her head. This lead to wearing those infamous Nana Blue blocker glasses that many stroke victims wear.

A January 2013 email that was procured by a freedom of information request from Judicial Watch revealed many nuggets on Hillary’s hellish health. The email was from Hillary’s best friend, Huma Abedin (wife of the man who takes naked selfies holding furry pussy cats), who was emailing an associate and saying that Hillary “is often confused”. This email was sent months after Hillary received treatment for a blood clot in her head which was discovered after she got a concussion from falling after opening her pickle jar.

Hillary’s 2008 campaign manager Patti Doyle has said that Hillary has no energy and really seems listless most days, “You know she is tired. She gets really tired. Bill gets so much energy from the people at the rallies. Is this Hillary’s favorite thing or fun thing to do? No.”

Hillary’s number one hater, author Ed Klein, has said that Grandma Clinton has frequent headaches that are near “blinding.” Klein also claims that Hillary has had a series of strokes over the course of the campaign that has led to her not giving press interviews for months at a time and why her interactions with people are so controlled. Who can forget her not returning to the debate stage because she didn’t want anyone to see her doing number one in the bathroom? What is she really hiding? For a woman who champions men using girl’s bathrooms why wouldn’t she take a leak during a debate until the whole bathroom was evacuated?

I have a very good friend who is a celebrity make-up artist. She has helped with Hillary’s makeup over the years and she tells me it takes almost three hours to make Hillary look presentable for her staged appearances. Without the makeup? My lady friend says she looks like a 92-year-old woman with deep fissures of wrinkles in her face. You cannot not workout, drink scotch and live in a toxic life of shady and corrupt dealings AND NOT PAY A PRICE WITH YOUR HEALTH. Sarah Palin once famously said “you can put lipstick on a pig but it still is a pig.” My friend says you can put a MAK force field of makeup on Hillary but it still is a 90-year-old lady with low energy who should be in charge of a bingo card instead of our country and soldiers.

Michael Karolchyk is: C.E.O. of Spartacus Strategies; Author: Dailysurge.com and Clashdaily.com; Fitness Czar: Sirius radio; Enemy of Political Correctness

Image: Courtesy of Gage Skidmore @: Hillary Clinton via photopin (license)

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