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Kindergarten Cop: The Rapid Moronification of America

This week, a CNN survey found two-thirds of Americans polled believe that Congress will act like “spoiled children” when dealing with the upcoming fiscal cliff negotiations, and that no one will behave like “responsible adults” during the process. Yes, and…?? After all, we are a nation of spoiled children and these are our elected representatives. It would be cause for alarm if they didn’t act like spoiled children, given the moral integrity of the electorate who they are tasked with representing.

If this past election demonstrated anything, it is that we have devolved from the Greatest Generation to the Greediest Generation. Many trends emerged on the evening of November 6th, but one of the most prevalent narratives was the ascension (or re-ascension in some cases) of duly-elected plunderers; folks who feel that they have a right and a mandate to take what belongs to someone and give it to someone else who likes them … while pocketing a hefty percentage for themselves.

This is precisely what a spoiled child does. He believes that everything he sees belongs to him and if anyone has a problem with that, he’s more than happy to a) scream until Mommy comes to redistribute the wealt .. er … toys or b) push you down into the sandbox, face first, and then play with your toy, while you wipe snot on your sleeve. And this is our government, folks.

We have substituted “In God We Trust” for “O’Doyle Rules!” Your money is not yours. Unless you plan to spend it on marijuana, Democratic campaign contributions, a Che shirt for your union protest, an iPad, or a Chevy Volt, then it’s temporarily your money (after O’Doyle gets his cut). You are simply holding the money until some czar or other decides that he wants it to subsidize the endangered Albino Alaskan Asparagus or pay off some “green” energy start-up who contributed to his re-election campaign.

There is no doubt who will get blamed for any hiccups during the negotiation process. If Boehner and the House GOP manage to find a spine and some lame-duck intransigence, expect the newly-emboldened Left to howl like . . . well, like spoiled children. Say, how do “responsible adults” act? Call me a troglodyte, but I believe responsible adults pay their bills, avoid spending money they don’t have, and never borrow more than they can repay. Boehner’s House hasn’t been without disappointments, but they have held the line fairly well on a refusal to borrow money without significant spending cuts.

So when CNN’s respondents spoke about Congress failing to act like “responsible adults” did they mean that they wish Congress would act more like the House GOP? Something tells me that isn’t what they had in mind. What they probably meant is that they want the House GOP to go along with the President’s plan of continuing to spend like a drunken Steinbrenner, while raising punitive taxes on those who develop, produce, and maintain what little wealth we have left in this country. That’s what passes for “responsible” adulthood these days.

As if they were trying to make my point for me, Time Magazine has nominated Sandra Fluke for their annual Person of the Year award. No, that is not a typo. The whiny law student who couldn’t figure out how to pay $9/month to support her promiscuity should be considered the crème de la crème Americaine, according to Time. What a fitting representative! A woman whose fame derives from her demands that Joe and Judy Taxpayer subsidize her Beach Blanket Boogie is declared a national hero.

Of course the idolatry and elevation of youth is nothing new, but thanks to the saturation of relativism in today’s culture, this is moving from mere idolatry to the burgeoning belief that youth is actually more [insert superlative] than mature adulthood. It used to be that age was revered and hard-won wisdom was desperately sought by the young. No longer. Age is a bad word and experience simply means that you’re dog-eared and stale.

All one has to do is turn on the television or wander through one’s local shopping mall to see this is true; just ask the 40-year-old dad in skinny jeans and dreadlocks playing his PSP Vita outside the Gap. From the glorification of the mid-life “crises” in films like American Beauty to the sexualization of mature women into “cougars”, we have become a culture which abhors maturity and worships immaturity and youth. #YOLO!!!!!!

Disturbingly this has translated to our politics, media, and intellectual circles. More than I can ever remember, our culture is held captive to whatever idiot savant says their ideas the loudest and has the most intellectually-vacant ideology (see Fluke, Sandra).

As usual, it falls to the adults to hold the line until the children realize their folly. Now more than ever, we cannot compromise our ideology. Forget the Neal Boortzes, Cato Institutes, and Bill Kristols who will use the election results to try to erode our conservatism. If there was ever a time to double-down, now is it. I pray that Boehner digs in and refuses to budge. After all, what does he have to lose? More name calling? More accusations of irresponsibility? He’ll get those no matter what he does.

Mr. Speaker, draw a line in the sand. This far and no further! For the sake of the adults in the room, let the kids cry this one out.

Upper Image: Laughing Fool ca. 1500; courtesy of Davis museum / collections/provenance_research.html; authorNetherlandish (possibly Jacob Cornelisz. van Oostsanen); public domain/copyright expired

Luke Hamilton

Luke Hamilton is classically-trained, Shakespearean actor from Eugene, Oregon who happens to be a liberty-loving, right-wing, Christian constitutionalist. When not penning columns for, Hamilton spends his time astride the Illinois-Wisconsin border, leading bands of liberty-starved citizens from the progressive gulags of Illinois to [relative] freedom. Hamilton is the creative mind/voice behind Pillar & Cloud Productions, a budding production company which resides at He owes all to his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, whose strength is perfected in his weakness.

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