Super Mario in the Girls’ Room??

Written by Pauline Wolak on March 5, 2013

480px-Mario_galaxy2.svgMy son wants to be a Super Mario Brother. He’s sure of it. He even dressed as Mario for Halloween. He wants to fight Bowser and marry Princess Peach. He isn’t just a six year old. He’s a video game icon. Because he’s so sure and, let’s face it, at six he is equipped to make decisions about who he is, I am going to have to change his name to Mario. I’m going to have to tell the school instead of uniforms, he’s going to need to wear overalls.

What do you mean they won’t let him? They have to. It’s his right. He knows who he is. He’s Mario, dammit.

Fine. I’ll just sue.

Yes, I know that little exchange seems ridiculous. Six year olds think they’re super heroes, princesses, and the next American Idol. They have vivid imaginations and outrageous thoughts. That’s the great thing about being six. For a little while, you can pretend to be something you’re not. No one is supposed to do more than pat you on the head and play along for a little while.

Unless, of course, you think you’re a girl.

Enter Coy Mathis. He’s a six year old from Colorado. His parents are filing a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Division on his behalf. It seems young Coy thinks he’s a girl. His parents cater to this idea. He wears dresses and has long hair. (Bright pink hair at one point, but that’s for another blog). He has always believed he was a girl, despite physical evidence to the contrary.

For the first half of the school year, Coy has used the girls’ restroom. In December the Fountain-Fort Carson School District informed his parents that they were going to make other options available to him because the current plan just wasn’t working for the rest of the students or their parents. He was given three options; the boys’ room (because, you know, he has a penis), the faculty restroom, or the nurse’s restroom.

In perhaps the most tragically hilarious irony in the history of ever, his lawyer says that by forcing Coy to use something other than the girls’ restroom the school is “targeting her for stigma, bullying and harassment.”

Because we all know letting a boy wear a dress and use the girls’ room would NEVER cause stigma.

Look, I get it. I get the whole transgender thing. What I don’t get is allowing a six year old to call the shots. What I don’t get is ignoring basic logic. Coy says he’s a girl. Got it. Be a girl. Wear dresses. Put on makeup. Take him bra shopping when he’s twelve. (Not as great as it’s cracked up to be, Coy). I will, as always, teach my children to accept others for who they are. I will teach my children not to bully your son because bullying is never ok.

So far we’re on the same page.

Where you lose me is the bathroom issue. If it’s “no big deal” for a boy that thinks he’s a girl to use the girls’ room because you’re in a private stall anyway….why not just use the boys’ room? Same logic right?

Let’s pretend Coy wins his case and is allowed to use the girls’ room. Is it still ok at 12? How about at 16 when hormones are raging?

Allowing this opens the door not just for Coy but for ANY man that says he’s a woman. That includes, oh I dunno, sex offenders! Do you think they aren’t going to catch onto this? How about peeping toms and voyeurs? Does anyone really think this case will be about one six year old?

If we are expected to ignore biology (which explains much about public education), can you at least meet us halfway and use the boy’s room?

Which bathroom does a video game icon use, anyway?


Image: Logo of Super Mario Galaxy; author: Rαge; public domain

Pauline is a proud wife and mother of three. When she isn't being the world's greatest Girl Friday, she is volunteers her time as a school librarian and athletic director. Pauline enjoys football, politics, good beer, and arguing with anyone. She's a devout pro-life Catholic. Pauline believes in the 1st Amendment and uses it on a daily basis, most notably to ambush unsuspecting family members in political debate! You can find her work here at Clash and at Follow her on twitter at @MiStateFan.