‘Don’t Be Silly, My Drag Queen Son Can Return to Iran Any Time He Likes!’

We long to hear of his adventures working the clubs, performing in every gay and tranny establishment from the Boots & Saddle, to the Cock Club, to the Urge, Boiler Room, Pyramid Club, Pieces, the Rub-A-Dub-Dub,  and  The Shelter … Manhattan’s finest hath never been so blessed as to have the ceaseless talent of Majid Najjar grace them, I proudly say.  We raised him to be quite an energetic young man, and we await the cultural exchange he can bring home and share with us.

And so, I entreat you all now with this simple request: if you do run into our son, Majid, in Lower East Manhattan, do not hesitate to tell him to come back and see his mother and I, near faint with nervous curiosity over his new life, and his siblings and old neighborhood. There will be a nice, hot bowl of his favorite goat and lentil soup waiting for him, fresh pita bread, and his room has been kept just the way it was that morning we woke to find him strangely missing.

So enough with your cynicism, dear sirs. All rubbish, I say! My son, the flaming drag queen is free to come back to Iran any time he likes.

The preceding is satire