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CHRISTIAN MUSICIAN SAYS: “I Would Cheat On My Wife”

If I have learned anything about myself after living for 23 years as a young squire in South Florida that’s played in bands since before I was a teenager, it’s this: my heart is rotten to the core. I need Christ deeply and totally each and every day otherwise I walk out of the Kingdom bounds and I start doing jacked up crap that will only bring me back to Him begging for a holy diaper change.

This is exactly why I say I would definitely cheat on my wife. I know it, I have the heart for it and the lustful desires that make me capable of such gross misconduct. Now there is a big difference in “will” and “would” and if all of you men are honest with yourselves you’ll know you’re in that same boat. Here’s a few reasons why:

First, I have encountered too many men recently that treat their marriage vows fast and loose and think that simply because their wife is fully dependent on them then they have freedom to engage flirtatiously with other women, especially at work. Seriously, I have watched a married man grab another married woman’s breast while they thought it was all in good fun because at the end of the day they both have families to go home to.

I don’t doubt it’s good fun, fellow sinner, but what happens when your spouse sees you behave in this manner? You got any divorce lawyers on retainer? Because you might need them. No, I’m sorry I’m wrong…you will definitely need them. Or a homicide lawyer, but that’s just my opinion and I’m a Bible thumping racist of course.

To those men: you wouldn’t cheat on your wife? Too late. You already have.

Secondly, recently I have heard this phrase way too much about my decision to try and remain chaste until marriage: “How are you supposed to know whether you’ll be compatible sexually? It’s like buying a car, you have to test drive it first.”

Oh, so your wife is your property? She’s like a Ford truck? That’s an interesting way to look at “it.” The way I see it, (and I’m just a brainwashed Christian weirdo) if your honeymoon isn’t exactly thumpin’ rumpin’, then guess what? You have a whole lifetime to figure it out! Shoot, if it’s that bad then take a few days vacation, lock yourselves in the bedroom and serve each other in love. At least that’s what I would do.

Having sex before marriage now becomes a sort of “audition” and try out. A boy will get a girl to strip all the way down and bare all of herself to him, and then he can decide if she will pass or fail. Dear woman, if you let the man have all the goodies of marriage before the exchanging of vows, what makes you think he won’t up and leave after you put on him the responsibility of “husband”? I mean, he was just looking for a good time, not all that responsibility stuff. Of course, there are exceptions of commendable men who will take responsibility for their actions and will take care of their families, but you’re gambling with your life and the odds are stacked against you.

Don’t believe me? No need to bring the Bible into this, just watch one episode of Maury.

Thirdly, how in the world does promiscuity prepare you for marriage? Men, I can tell you from experience, before I was a Christian I was promiscuous and even after the fact my flesh still reared its ugly head from time to time. I know I am forgiven, but I still feel shame for the things I have previously done. On that same note, how many of you guys want to date a woman that’s been around the block a few times? Then what makes you think a girl wants a guy who has? Sure, you might want to “hit it and quit it” at the bar this weekend, but when you meet the mother of your children and your life partner you’ll have to eventually explain all your sexcapades and why you thought they were fun and acceptable.

Oh, and what about when you have a daughter? What’s going to happen when she comes across a guy like you? Did your one night stand prepare you for that? Do unto others…

In conclusion, we men need to recognize the severity of our lust and appetite for sin. My single brothers, let’s start practicing monogamy now. Let’s start washing our brains from the filth this culture has sold us now. Let’s start learning from Christian husbands and fathers now. Let’s get around them and have them teach us how to be the heroes and pastors of our households. Let’s start thinking selflessly now so we are not finding ourselves fighting to constantly change our future wives. Let’s stop thinking of women as only measured by their breasts as opposed to the content of their Christian character.

Never lose sight of your depravity, never forget what you’re capable of. Never think “I would never cheat on my wife” but rather die every day to make sure Christ will keep you from even nearing that.

As John Calvin once said: “To magnify human free will or minimize the extent of human depravity is to downplay the need for divine grace, and that undermines every aspect of gospel truth.”

Andres Ortiz

About the author, Andres Ortiz:

Andres Ortiz is the founder of The Saving, a ministry that plays heavy music with heavier Christian content. His new album “David Star”, based on the life of David, comes out March 9th, 2014. Follow @andresaving on twitter.

View all articles by Andres Ortiz

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