How President Gowdy Solved the Middle East Problem

Written by Donald Joy on June 25, 2014

Back in 2021, right after Trey Gowdy’s inauguration, Muslims at first fled away from the cities of Mecca and Medina on the Arabian peninsula, because they generally sensed what was coming.  And they sensed correctly–Gowdy blasted those places to smithereens with a dual nuclear bomb strike.

Immediately, of course, Muslims across the globe rioted and struck as hard as they could at any and all possible targets–both military and civilian, particularly in Western cities–with their suicide bombs, automatic weapons, arson, assassinations, and various other tactics.

The carnage around the globe was extensive and awful, however not nearly as bad as it might have been had not Western populations and governments already become so fed up, overall, with Islamic aggression and terrorism that they’d been doing a lot of prevention and pre-emptive preparation.  An almost universal, lightning-fast crackdown minimized the death toll.

Police and military units deployed everywhere at top speed in the immediate aftermath of Gowdy’s devastation of the ultimate Islamic “holy” sites, and the enraged, foaming-at-the-mouth Muslims who massed in the streets of Western cities in response were unceremoniously mowed down by tactical units using whatever means necessary–drone strikes, helicopter gunships, mechanized and armored squads, you name it.

Problematic Muslim clerics and known jihad ringleaders living in Western countries, along with their already watchlisted followers and lesser-recognized adherents, were ruthlessly rounded up without a moment’s delay–not only by official units and personnel, but equally by citizen militias and vigilantes who realized an almost uniform, unwritten, across-the-board de facto deputation status.  No one in any official capacity whatsoever even contemplated objecting to ordinary civilians joining in the effort to contain and defeat, with extreme prejudice, the imminent Islamic threat.  Those jihadis who mounted any kind of fight to try to avoid being taken into custody were just killed instantly by overwhelming force.  Numerous hostages, most unfortunately, were sometimes lost when their Islamic hostage-takers were summarily and hastily obliterated, lest the enemy think such a tactic would in any way further their jihad by weakening our resolve.

It was beneficial that so many governments had already undertaken the process of cleaning house with regard to the Islamic problem.  Things had escalated so much and for so long that everyone in their right minds simply knew without a doubt that a modern Crusade was not only necessary, but was moreover the highest moral priority for civilized societies who wished to survive, in the end, against the sustained and savage aggression and violent onslaught waged increasingly for so many decades by bloodthirsty Muslim hordes.

Gowdy’s gambit of strikes against Mecca and Medina was, on the surface, symbolic, however it was extremely effective and ingenious in the strategic realm.

What took place after the strikes was exactly what Gowdy and his generals had anticipated, and the fact that they so carefully planned for the result, and for subsequent actions, is what made their strategy so brilliant.

As expected, and as the radioactive dust was still settling, it wasn’t long before virtually millions of Muslim warriors swarmed toward Mecca from around the world.  Obviously, they saw the freshly vaporized site as that much more of a sacred rallying point; as the place to coalesce and “make their stand” for Islam, as Western forces maneuvered and feigned–pretending as if to want to move into, seize, hold, and occupy the Muslims’ holy wasteland.

Being mostly the regressive, inbred spawn of marriages between cousins (prevailing practice in Islamic societies), the Mohammedan armies just weren’t that bright to begin with–but now they seemed to glow that much more with the fervor of rabid, wild-eyed, screaming Islamic religiosity as they stupidly flocked and teemed en masse to the poisonously toxic area where the nuclear warheads had hit home.

That easily forecasted, brainless rush toward Mecca (in the immediate aftermath of the U.S. nuclear strike) by legions of the most hyper-rabid Islamic mujahideen from all corners of the globe accomplished two key goals:  First, their aforementioned exposure to whatever degree of radioactive fallout, which need not really be explained in terms of its advantage to the civilized world.  Second, it gave Gowdy’s generals and their allied counterparts from friendly countries such easy, ready targets, all assembled in one big sandbox, for continued tactical elimination, that it was very soon that the “soldiers of Allah” collectively realized their mistake.  Almost all of them were basically wiped out in a matter of days, primarily from above.

Gowdy first deliberately drew them into the killing field, then killed them.

Once the non-Muslim world actually took the Muslim world up on its long-standing practice of all-out war, the war ended rather quickly.

It didn’t take long at all for the message to sink in, in the minds of Muslim leaders and followers worldwide:  The paper tiger had burned up, replaced by a real tiger.

Try as the ayatollahs, muftis, sheiks, clerics, and would-be caliphs might, to rally the troops for ongoing and endless jihad against the infidels, they were beaten back and beaten down by every kind of laser-guided hellfire munition imaginable–until many of the remaining mosques began to be converted into Christian churches by desperate goatherders and merchants seeking a better way.  Imams either fled, or shed their dirty nightshirts and traded them in for Joel Osteen designer togs, heeding the begging and beseeching of their communities’ plaintive pleas for a new chance at life, and renunciation of Islam in hopes that the laser-precision bombs and missiles might cease.

Pakistan’s nukes weren’t even part of the equation once Israel took them out (along with the Pakis’ almost entire command and control systems), simultaneous to Gowdy’s having blasted the black stone cube of Mecca into mere metaphysical “carbon credits” toward the heating and air conditioning costs of keeping Barack Hussein Obama housed in U.S. federal prison, according of course to the comforts befitting a convicted former American president.

Very few American servicemen’s lives or limbs were jeopardized or lost during the final decisive campaign to defeat Mohammedanism; almost none, in fact, compared with other global conflicts in recent history.  All it took, really, was the will to use the tools at our disposal, to end an existential threat to us and to our children.

As for Islam, they still practice it in cults and sectors throughout the Middle East, and elsewhere around the world, but mainly it’s discussed in history books, and in articles online.  Not too many surviving denizens of even its birthplace are interested in being associated with such a failed, vanquished, disreputable, and notoriously depraved ideology.  Like Nazism, and like the doomed, kamikaze emperor-worship of Imperial Japan of the last century, it’s been sent to the dustbin where it belongs.

It’s unfortunate that so many people who were guilty of nothing more than having been bred into mere supporting roles in Islam had to die to bring the war to a close, but it’s that much more fortunate that so many millions, even billions in posterity, will live free from Islam’s shackles and bloodthirsty reach.

Peace be upon you.


Following his service in the United State Air Force, Donald Joy earned a bachelor of science in business administration from SUNY while serving in the army national guard. As a special deputy U.S. marshal, Don was on the protection detail for Attorney General John Ashcroft following the attacks of 9/11. He lives in the D.C. suburbs of Northern Virginia with his wife and son.