GROSS: If You Said, ‘This State Has Sh*tty Beaches’, You’d Be Correct

Written by Doug Giles on June 14, 2018

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

Forty-Seven beaches have been closed. Unfit and unsafe for human use.

Yes, you read that right. New Jersey authorities have declared 47 beaches unfit for human use.

What was the cause?

Trending: LMAO! This Eminem Meme Will Make You Howl Like A Spider Monkey

No, as fun as it would be to give that answer… it wasn’t him.

The culprit? Poop.

After the rains in New Jersy, the fecal count was WAY high in 47 New Jersey beaches. The oceans are expected to disperse the problem fairly quickly, and swimmers will be welcomed back soon enough. If you can get past the idea that they were closed for having too much poop in them, that is.

Some have already been re-opened.

Here’s a list of the affected beaches. Keep that list in mind the next time you plan to hit the beach after a rainstorm.

You might be in for an unpleasant surprise… other than the possibility of seeing Christie in beachwear, that is.

Speaking of poop, here’s something we’ve all wondered for a long time, but it looks like medical science has finally determined the problem.

It’s spreading like a plague. For some reason, Liberals are losing their ever-loving minds.

Trump Derangement — and Romney Derangement before that — and Bush Derangement before that are only the tip of the iceberg.

What is driving them so berzerk?

Looks like we’ve found an answer:

A liberal walks into the hospital and asks for an X-ray of its skull. Doctors confirmed what we already feared. Here’s the sad diagnosis…

That’s the ladies’ version. You can get it here.

Don’t worry. There’s one for the guys, too.

You can get the guy’s version here.

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VETERAN OPERATED

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