NY Times Op-Ed: Male Feminist Apologizes For Being A Heterosexual Male

Written by K. Walker on June 4, 2019

What happened to “born that way” — is that not a thing anymore?

In our rapidly moving news era, there are some stories that get shelved but are still worthy of commentary. This is one of those instances. This opinion piece in the New York Times appeared in October of 2018, (in the wake of the Kavanaugh confirmation circus) but it is worth critiquing today as male Democrat nominees tout their “feminist” credentials.

Both Democratic hopefuls Sen. Cory Booker(D-NJ) and Rep. Eric Swalwell(D-CA) have pledged to have a female running mate and to hell with merit, experience, or suitability. It doesn’t matter which woman it is, either, as long as she’s a woman. Would a transgender woman fit the bill? It depends, will it clinch the female voting demographic? If it does, they just might consider it.

Male feminists are vile, self-loathing creatures.

This brings us to the op-ed…

George Yancy, a philosophy professor at Emory University has a problem. He’s a male feminist and he’s openly admitting that he is sexist.

In fact, perhaps it is time that we lay claim to a movement — #IamSexist. Think about its national and international implications as we take responsibility for our sexism, our misogyny, our patriarchy.

It is hard to admit we are sexist. I, for instance, would like to think that I possess genuine feminist bona fides, but who am I kidding? I am a failed and broken feminist. More pointedly, I am sexist. There are times when I fear for the “loss” of my own “entitlement” as a male. Toxic masculinity takes many forms. All forms continue to hurt and to violate women.

What is his example that immediately follows?

He wanted his wife to take his name when they got married. The harridan refused because the practice of taking on the husband’s name is a quintessential form of “PATRIARCHY!!!”

While this was not sexual assault, my insistence was a violation of her independence. I had inherited a subtle, yet still violent, form of toxic masculinity.

A “subtle but violent form of toxic masculinity” is wanting to have a family name?!

What, did he attempt to beat her into submission?! No, it was a discussion that he (eventually) backed down from. She didn’t take his name after they were married so that she could maintain her identity.

(Perhaps he could have just handed over his balls at this point and proved his “feminist bona fides” by adopting her name, eh?)

Yancy then apologizes for wanting to be thanked for doing the dishes or other small household chores. Oy Veh.

He addresses his female readers apologetic for his silence being an “act of violence.”

If you are a woman reading this, I have failed you. Through my silence and an uninterrogated collective misogyny, I have failed you. I have helped and continue to help perpetuate sexism. I know about how we hold onto forms of power that dehumanize you only to elevate our sense of masculinity. I recognize my silence as an act of violence. For this, I sincerely apologize.

This dude really needs to get a clear understanding of what actual violence is.

Yancy’s “toxic masculinity” isn’t relegated to wanting to share a family name with his wife, or a kind word of thanks for helping out around the house, it also includes being a red-blooded heterosexual male, apparently.

(Of course, Yancy would probably call me an unwitting tool of the patriarchy for that statement, but read his words and see if he’s not making an apology for being a straight male.)

I speak as an insider. I know about what so many of us men think about women — the language we use, the sense of power that we garner through our sexual exploits, our catcalling and threatening, our sexually objectifying gazes, our dehumanizing and despicable sexual gestures and our pornographic imaginations. This is not simply locker room banter but a public display of unchecked bravado for which we often feel no shame.

It’s not precisely rape, but the “sexually objectifying gazes” the “dehumanizing and despicable sexual gestures” as well as the “pornographic imaginations” of heterosexual men is… rape-adjacent.

Yancy explains that toxic masculinity is programmed into boys from birth. Good male feminist that he is, he adds the final flourish to his thought — a quote from Simone de Beauvoir.

I’m issuing a clarion call against our claims of sexist “innocence.” I’m calling our “innocence” what it is — bullshit. As bell hooks writes in “The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity and Love,” men unconsciously “engage in patriarchal thinking, which condones rape even though they may never enact it. This is a patriarchal truism that most people in our society want to deny.” When women speak out about male violence, hooks writes, “folks are eager to stand up and make the point that most men are not violent. They refuse to acknowledge that masses of boys and men have been programmed from birth on to believe that at some point they must be violent, whether psychologically or physically, to prove that they are men.” We have learned it. In the language of Simone de Beauvoir, “One is not born, but rather becomes” masculine.

Far be it from me for agreeing with Simone de Beauvoir, but it’s obvious that some men aren’t born masculine at all. *cough*George Yancy*cough*

The horror of being physically attracted to women! Imagine if that same kind of thing happened with women toward men. It would be anarchy! (Also, Superhero movies wouldn’t be watched by women. At all. ‘Cause… what would be the point? Just sayin’.)

Only a male feminist would actually believe that rape is condoned in our culture “even if it isn’t acted upon.” After all, many of the vile perpetrators of sexual assault and harassment are actually the male feminists. Harvey Weinstein was spotted at the Women’s March in 2017. Eric Schneidermann was a feminist by day and a sexual sadist who enjoyed degrading women. Even Canada’s own Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had his “groping” allegation and ticked off women for treating the former Attorney General (an indigenous woman) badly because she refused to break the law for him.

Yancy’s self-flagellation for the sin of being attracted to women continues:

I find hooks’s description powerful and true to my own experience as a boy: “Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term ‘masculinity’),” as hooks writes, “is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.”

If you’re wondering what in the actual hell that “soul murder” is, you’re not alone. Fortunately, Yancy clears that up, too. He says that when he was about 15 years old, he asked a friend of his why he kept looking at girls’ butts. His friend responded, “Are you gay or something?” and whammo! it was apparent that that guy had already murdered his own soul because he had embraced the sexist practice of objectifying women.

You see, other males had rewarded his gaze by joining in the objectifying practice: “Look at that butt!” It was a collective act of devaluation. The acts of soul murder had already begun.

That’s why feminists want to stop the induction into “The Patriarchy” by teaching boys to be feminists instead of egalitarians. It’s a lucrative market.

Yancy mocks Don Jr. for saying that he’s concerned for his boys, but the facts are the facts — girls are graduating from college at higher rates than boys and a recent study has shown that women are more successful at finding jobs than men.

We live in a world where feminists have insisted that women suppress their feminine traits and take on the attributes of men in order to be considered successful. Women are more successful if you’re using male standards of success. (See the discussion between Charlie Kirk and Jordan B. Peterson on the hypocrisy of condemning the Patriarchy when men succeed but ignore it when women succeed by using the “masculine archetype.”)

Feminists are contributing to “The Patriarchy” by suppressing traditional feminine goals and supplanting them with masculine goals.

That’ll blow the mind, eh?

Yancy decides to speak directly to women again. He’s on your side, girls. He’s on your side.

I know that if you are a woman, you don’t really need me as a man saying to you that you are not paranoid when it comes to male violence, sexual and otherwise. I speak not for you but with you. In my view, and in the view of many others, Kavanaugh failed himself, and you. And we have all played our part in that failure. I don’t want to fail women anymore.

Source: New York Times

I hate to break it to you, George, but it’s too late. You’ve already failed by caricaturing what masculinity is and then apologizing for it. You’ve been tilting at windmills, my dude.

You’ve fallen victim to one of the great blunders — thinking that feminism was about equality. Maybe it was at one point, but not now. It’s about getting weak, fragile men to willingly put their testicles in a vice so that they can be crushed and the power structure can be flipped in order to further punish men for the evil that they do by simply existing.

The goal of feminism now seems to be the complete erasure of masculinity, and I, for one, happen to like masculinity.

So, I guess that puts this ClashDaily Associate Editor on the opposite side of the ring as George Yancy.

 Pussification: The Effeminization Of The American Male

by Doug Giles

Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity. That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome. Buy Now: Pussification: The Effeminization Of The American Male

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ClashDaily's Associate Editor since August 2016. Self-described political junkie, anti-Third Wave Feminist, and a nightmare to the 'intersectional' crowd. Mrs. Walker has taken a stand against 'white privilege' education in public schools. She's also an amateur Playwright, former Drama teacher, and staunch defender of the Oxford comma. Follow her humble musings on Twitter: @TheMrsKnowItAll