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Church StuffOpinion

Four Ways To Make Certain Your Kids Blow Off God

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  1. Make other things a priority over church assemblies and functions. Be sure that you are giving your child the impression that there are some things that are more important than assembling with the church if they are “big” enough. Be sure the church comes second to some things. These things include (but are not limited to) sporting events, vacations, family get-togethers, and even some forms of working. Only doing this occasionally is sufficient to get the point across to your child. Better yet, cut out Bible class entirely and only come for Sunday morning worship.
  2. Don’t talk about God, Jesus, or the church when you are at home or in the car. Keep your lips sealed when it comes to spiritual matters. Don’t ask, and don’t tell.
  3. When you do talk, be sure to complain and nitpick as much as possible. Complain about the preacher, his sermons, the elders, the deacons, the singing, the song selection, the Bible class, the Bible class teacher, the Bible class materials, young kids, older people, and any other Christian who is different from yourself. Never give your child the impression that you are appreciative of the church, or that you respect those who serve it. Never be satisfied. Be sure to plant the seed of dissatisfaction in your child’s mind.
  4. Indulge your child’s immaturity. Despite the fact that they have yet to develop a real concept of the value of a dollar, give them full control when it comes to their most valuable asset: their soul. Even though they might want to eat pizza and french fries for every meal, let them make every soul-affecting decision for themselves. If they don’t want to do “it,” don’t make them do “it.” This applies to all aspects of participation, including Bible class, worship, and even (for the boys) leading worship. Make attendance optional. For that matter, make everything optional, with no consequences.

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