Oh, man… am I going to get called a “sexist” for this column, but I don’t care. Let the heathen rage.
With that said, allow me to kick it old school.
As a man, Hillary grosses me out to the core of my being.
Everything, I was raised to both be and do, as a dude, she, politically and personally, stands in stark contrast of.
In addition to that smack, every wonderful nurturing and tender thing that women bring to the table to counter-balance the testosterone fog that my brutish brothers revel in, she is devoid of.
Oh, by the way, how do I know I’m a man?
Well, it’s not because I “feel” like a man, which I do, but it’s principally because of my wedding tackle and the innate hard-wiring God equipped me with to be the provider, protector, hunter, hero. Duh. But I digress. Let’s go back to Hillary, shall we?
Apparently, I’m not the only alpha male that Hillary makes shake like Curly did when Moe and Larry couldn’t find him any Limburger cheese.
According to The Atlantic,
“When Hillary Clinton entered the presidential race, she expected to win overwhelming support among women in her bid to become the first female president. Instead, she’s finding out that an unprecedented level of resistance to her candidacy among men is undermining the conventional wisdom that she’d be the strongest Democratic nominee in the general election. The latest round of polling for Clinton is brutal and shows her favorability rating with men at a mere 27 percent.”
Indeed, if we’re to believe that poll, which I do, it seems as if I’m not alone as millions of men, just like Bill, do not have a hankering for Hillary. I don’t see huge pro-Hillary men’s groups on Facebook like I do women who love Trump or Cruz.
So, why don’t men respect Ms. Rodham? I’ll tell you why I don’t here in a few seconds. The excitement is almost palpable, eh?
One of the cigar bars I frequent in Austin is an amalgamation of conservatives, liberals and libertarians. None of the dudes I converse with like Hillary. As in, no one. There’s a stack of Cruz, Trump and Bernie backers, but zilch in regards to Hillary. And, as some of you well know, Austin isn’t known as a bastion for conservatism. One of my buddies, a Bernie supporter, said that, “Hillary reminds me of my ex-wife… mean and ugly.”
Another interesting little ditty is that my black brothers, whom I smoke with, aren’t taken with her and don’t buy her “I’m looking out for the blacks” bullshit.
If any of the aforementioned cigar aficionados do like Hillary, they sure as heck didn’t confess it in public to other men.
As stated, several of my cigar buddies are liberals. So, it’s not her politics that are freaking them out but her. She’s the problem. Matter of fact, several of them in this mixed political bag physically recoiled and cursed when queried if they were pro-Hillary. Yes, it was that bad.
So, being the inquiring mind that I am, I pushed the issue: Why don’t you support her? The overwhelming response was… well … I can’t repeat it, but … the word they used to describe her rhymes with stitch.
The men reduced it down to her persona as the problema. No man wants to listen to that.
Apparently, radical liberal policies, mixed with obvious and odious lies, with the sex appeal of a door hinge, a carpiness that out carps a carp and a screeching voice that sounds like a pterodactyl that just stole a baby, equates a negative reaction in all men regardless of race, color or creed.
Wanting to see if my Facebook buddies felt the same way about the Hildebeest, I polled them last Friday, asking them why they don’t like Hillary and, aside from her politics, many said it was her contentious voice. Her voice, especially on the campaign trail during her stump speeches, was a mega-turn off for the boys. One framed her as a “contentious woman”.
When I heard the phrase “contentious woman” I was thinking to my self, “Self, where have you heard that phrase before?” Was it in a Spider Man movie? Was it a Netflix mini-series? Where, Doug? Think man, think. I couldn’t recall where I had heard it which was really frustrating. So I went to my medicine cabinet and took four extra hits of Prevagen and … nada. I still couldn’t figure out where I’d heard that phrase. So, as a desperate man, I Googled it and boom… problem solved. It was in this old book that isn’t read that much any more called the Bible.
Not only do men, who would be men, disdain the contentious Hildebeest’s modus operandi, but, according to the Scripture, God doesn’t dig it and is sympathetic to the plight of men who’re under the constant drip of such a gnarly faucet.
Check it out …
Proverbs 21:9 — Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverbs 21:19— Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.
Proverbs 27:15— A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Ouch, baby. Very ouch. And if you don’t like those Bible verses, don’t send me a nasty email. Take it up with Solomon.
In light of those texts, I think I finally understand why Bill went afield. She’s a nerve-grating, repugnant, political animal who comes off as an angry man in an orange pantsuit; and that, my brethren, is why Hillary polls low with the boys.
