CHARLOTTE, NC – Greetings from Obamaworld, at least for the next three days. While others have observed how lame the Dems’ lineup is this year, I figured I’d share the full list* now that the — er — “excitement” is mere hours away. I’ve taken the liberty of putting the names of people from whom I’m even the slightest bit interested in hearing, even if ironically, in bold. (Parenthetical notes are mine):
Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin (currently poised to lose her US Senate race to Tommy Thompson).
Congressman Xavier Becerra of California
Newark Mayor Cory Booker (Local hero — reportedly considering challenging uber-popular Gov. Chris Christie next year).
Congressman G.K. Butterfield of North Carolina
Former President Jimmy Carter, via video (Perfect).
San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro, who will be the first Latino keynote speaker at a Democratic National Convention
Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chafee
Congresswoman Judy Chu of California
Congressman Emanuel Cleaver of Missouri
Former President Bill Clinton (Clinton always brings the goods. He’ll be great).
Congressman James Clyburn of South Carolina
Former Republican Governor of Florida Charlie Crist (Crist may be the most craven, compass-free, opportunistic politician on the scene today, which is really saying something).
Lieutenant Governor of North Carolina Walter Dalton
The Honorable Arne Duncan
Congresswoman Diana DeGette of Colorado
Former Assistant Secretary, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Tammy Duckworth
U.S. Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois
Congresswoman Donna Edwards of Maryland
Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel (Will the convention have a 7-second delay?)
Georgetown Law School Graduate Sandra Fluke (It is truly pathetic that this person has become a cause celebre on the Left. She’s famous for demanding that the religious university she chose to attend be compelled by the federal government to violate their faith by paying for her birth control — and for being called a mean name by Rush Limbaugh. What an inspiration).
Charlotte Mayor Anthony Foxx
Congressman Barney Frank of Massachusetts
Former Charlotte Mayor Harvey Gantt
Former Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm (She left the state is such great shape, didn’t she? How’s life on cable access?)
Congressman Charlie Gonzalez of Texas
U.S. Senator Kay Hagan of North Carolina (She’ll be in deep, deep trouble in 2014).
California Attorney General Kamala D. Harris
Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper (One of the few legitimate rising leaders on the Democrat bench).
Congressman Steny Hoyer of Maryland
Former Governor of North Carolina Jim Hunt
DCCC Chairman Congressman Steve Israel of New York
Montana State Superintendent of Public Instruction Denise Juneau
Former Virginia Governor Tim Kaine
Lieutenant General Claudia Kennedy (ret.)
Congressman John Larson of Connecticut
Congresswoman Barbara Lee of California
Congressman John Lewis of Georgia
CarMax co-founder and former CEO Austin Ligon
President of NARAL Pro-Choice America Nancy Keenan (Someone who’s dedicated her life to abortion. Classy).
U.S. Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts (“…and I’m reporting for duty…”)
Women’s rights activist Lilly Ledbetter
Obama Campaign Co-Chair Eva Longoria
Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy
Delaware Governor Jack Markell
Boston Mayor Tom Menino
The Honorable Karen Mills
U.S. Senator Patty Murray of Washington
Admiral John Nathman
Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter
U.S. Senator Barbara Mikulski of Maryland, together with the women of the U.S. Senate
Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley (Maybe can settle once and for all whether Americans are better off today than they were four years ago. Some spin is hard).
Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick
House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi (Admit it, you sort of miss her. Not wielding the gavel, obviously, but doing what she does).
House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi will also lead a presentation of the women of the House
California Assembly Speaker John A. Pérez
Congressman Jared Polis of Colorado
Congressman David Price of North Carolina
Illinois Governor Pat Quinn (Working speech title: “How to raise taxes and stay delinquent on your bills“).
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada (Perhaps he’ll channel his imaginary friend and reveal more rumors about people he doesn’t like).
President of Planned Parenthood Action Fund Cecile Richards (Round two of abortion-fest ’12. Charming).
Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak
The Honorable Ken Salazar
Journalist Cristina Saralegui (“Representing her entire profession, please welcome…”)
U.S. Senator Charles Schumer of New York
Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer
The Honorable Kathleen Sebelius
Costco co-founder and former CEO Jim Sinegal
Former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland
Congressman Chris Van Hollen
Los Angeles Mayor, Democratic Convention Chair Antonio Villaraigosa
The Honorable Tom Vilsack
Senate candidate from Massachusetts Elizabeth Warren (Hoping for a heavily biographical speech).
DNC Chair Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida (Oh, you).
Congressman Mel Watt of North Carolina