This past week a YouTube video of a crying four-year-old little girl named Abigail went viral. In the video Abby’s mom asks her why she’s so sad. Abigail replies through a steady stream of tears and mucus that she’s “tired of Bronco Bamma and Mitt Romney.” Well, little sister, I feel your pain. Now, mind you, I’m not tired of Romney and Ryan, but good Lord … and believe me when I tell you … I’m pig sick of Bronco Bamma.
Yep, I’m beyond ready for this ignoble thing called the Obama presidency to be officially finito. These past four years have been brutally lugubrious for this God- and country-loving rebel.
To what shall I compare the failed policies, ridiculous debt, over-the-top obfuscation and overall diminishment of the White House by this pusillanimous food stamp president?
Let’s see. Think, Doug. Think. Oh, I know! For me, Obama’s term in office has had all the appeal of watching Honey Boo Boo’s mom trying to get into a cat suit while eating a double meat burrito with extra guac and motor oil. How’s that?
Yep, hopefully this is one of the last columns I’ll ever have to pen about the crappiest sitting president ever. Oh, I’m sure Obama will come up in future articles after he’s ousted. For instance, I’ll probably have to cover him again when he, Hillary and Holder go to trial for the murderous Benghazi and Fast and Furious cover-ups—but that will be more fun than it will be work.
In addition, if I yield to the desires of my agent and publisher I’ll have to weigh in again on BHO’s Reign of Bollocks by writing a forthcoming book titled, Remember When America Was Dumb as Hell and Elected a Junior State Senator Who Was a Dyed-in-the-Wool Socialist to Run Our Country? But at least I’ll have a little reprieve from Obama as a topic because that slim tome’s not due out until the spring of 2014. But for week after week columns, hopefully—prayerfully—I’m done.
What’s interesting is that I’m not alone in this Obama malaise. At the cigar bar I frequent in Miami, my brothers who voted for Obama in ‘08 are finished with him; our trendy nurse and doctor neighbors are saying “adios muchacho” to the abysmal el presidente. And … and … stacks of my liberal Jewish friends amongst whom I dwell as a gentile are giving the big “Oy vey” to the thought of an Obama second term.
So, Abigail, you’re not alone in your pain, little child. Many of us throughout this God-blessed land are also tired of Bronco Bamma. Unfortunately, we will have to wait until Wednesday, sweet Abby, to see if our dreams will indeed come true.