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Reason #666 Why The Church is Getting It’s Ass Kicked: Stylish Adult Baptisms

HuffPo- Nothing honors the baptism of Jesus in the River Jordan like a “stylish” baptism in a swimming pool in a Texan McMansion.

Leslie, from something called “Big Rich Texas,” which is apparently a reality show or something, shares with us her tips for keeping this foundational Christian ritual classy.

According to our host, adults who have recently come to accept Jesus as Lord can have a baptism anywhere:

“It really is appropriate to have an adult baptism anywhere. You can have it in a beautiful lake, you can actually have it in a church, I mean, sometimes that is more traditional, but I prefer a beautiful swimming pool, it’s a little bit more controlled … and it’s cleaner.”

Hear that people who have picked up your cross and are following Jesus? While you CAN have it in a church, you might consider a really beautiful, and clean, swimming pool. (For those of you who don’t have access to a beautiful pool and whom Jesus called blessed — the poor, the weak, the meek — you can do your unstylish, dirty baptism anywhere you want.)

Leslie goes on to give super helpful style tips about the dress you might wear (one for the baptism, one for after), and reminds us that a baptism is not a time to be “boobalicious.” Thanks for that reminder, Leslie!

But wait! There is an especially stylish ending to this baptism. But you’re going to have to watch the video to find out.

Big Rich Texan Leslie seems to indicate in the video that she is the Godmother of the subject of this particular baptism. When thinking of the spiritual well being of the new Christian one can only quote Scripture: Jesus wept.