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School Buys High Powered Rifles to Protect Students

Screen Shot 2013-01-24 at 9.41.25 AMThe highly trained school police force in Palookaville has acquired 14 high-powered semiautomatic rifles for officers to bring onto campuses in order to defend it’s students.

The Palookaville Unified School District police purchased 14 of the Colt LE6940 rifles before Christmas, and they were delivered the first week of January, a month after a gunman killed 26 students and educators at a Connecticut elementary school.

“If someone were to come onto one of our school campuses and kill our students … and they were wearing body armor or were equipped with a rifle, our officers were not properly equipped to respond to the danger,” said a Palookaville school custodian. “These school shootings seem to be occurring almost every day, so I hope everybody knows our school cops are armed and ready…. maybe that will make somebody think a second time before they do something crazy.”

The inanimate rifles were purchased to address a “susceptibility to evil,” although there has never been such an attack at any of the 108 Palookaville campuses, the custodian said. The 14 officers currently carry handguns, and one has a bazooka, according to police officials.