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Notice Anyone Missing? 7 of the Most Embarrassing Presidential Scandals

Screen Shot 2013-02-18 at 9.19.48 AMPresidential scandals are part of the fabric of American life. We have come to almost expect them. And while most Presidential scandals have to do with corruption or running guns or just flat out lying about things (*cough* yellowcake *cough*), occasionally these scandals head into the territory of the absurd, the hilarious and the outright embarrassing. It is to these wonderful scandals that this list is devoted. What better way to bring us together as a nation than to look back and laugh at our betters? It is what this country was built on and so, in that spirit, here are seven of the most embarrassing Presidential scandals of all time.

7 George W. Bush
The Scandal: Paid Journalists to Say Nice Things

I could take the easy route here and just say that his entire eight years was one big embarrassment but that would be mean, sort of like kicking the retarded kid after his pants already fell off and he pooped himself. So, instead let’s just focus on perhaps the most ridiculous of all the problems that Dubya faced while in the White House: the time cabinet officials used federal funds to pay three journalists hundreds of thousands of dollars to write nice things about Bush and his policies. It’s not so much the act itself as what it says. It points to a deeply insecure man and administration that understood, at least on some level, that he and it were laughingstocks. Just the fact that they felt the need to bribe journalists to not be mean to him is both kind of funny and incredibly pathetic, right? Wait… the check just cleared? Oh, uh… my bad. What I meant to say is that George W. Bush was the best president in American history and shame on all of you for making fun of him! He’s a good boy! That check better not bounce.

6 Lyndon B. Johnson
The Scandal: Assorted Perversions

Of all the sex fiend Presidents we’ve had – and we’ve had more than a few – perhaps none flew under the radar more, or was as funny, as Lyndon B. Johnson. From all accounts the man was a goddamn degenerate. He was compared to a Turkish Sultan, complete with a harem, and he routinely exposed himself like some kind of serial flasher. The most ridiculous anecdote surrounding LBJ and his pseudo-rapey ways is probably the time he climbed into the bed of a woman visiting his ranch, startling her (naturally) and said “Move over honey, this is your President.” Now that’s a hell of a pickup line right there. Of course, there was also the time he reportedly whipped it out while on a trip to Asia and remarked that they probably weren’t used to seeing one so big. Yes, there can be no doubt that Lyndon Baines Johnson belongs on this list.

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