We Need A Tough Guy … Soon

Written by S.C. Sherman on February 23, 2013

539px-Vladimir_Putin_12021Turn on the television or the computer lately and it’s hard to have hope. Everywhere we turn to get our news anymore it’s all the same, bad and getting worse. So much for Mr. Obama’s lofty rhetoric. Apparently, it was just slogans and bumper stickers like we all guessed. Well it would have been nice to have been wrong. My wife and I vacillate between enjoying denial and sheer terror that we aren’t prepared at all for the havoc to come. I mean we are fairly well armed, we have some extra food, etc … but we are talking the apocalypse right?

I love to dismiss it as crazy. People of every generation have thought it was the beginning of the end times. I scoff it off, and then it happens again. I turn on the tube and find out the Ruskies were flying long range fighters around Guam during the exact time that our man-boy president lectured us, I mean gave the State of the Union address. Just in case you don’t know, Guam is ours. It’s an American territory. The Russian fighters are capable of carrying 200 kiloton nuclear bombs with a range of 1800 miles.

Why would they do that during Big O’s speech? Didn’t Vlad get the transmission we are buds? Maybe they want to be our friends as long as they get to be the boss? Ever had a friend like that? It’s not fun after awhile. I seriously think the Russians are bullies and they aren’t intimidated by our Commander in Chief. Any kid on the playground knows this is human nature. All the girls and sensitive men in the world can disapprove all day long but it won’t change this fact. At some point every man and every nation better puff up his chest a bit if he wants the other boys to stop messing with him.

We are seriously being messed with by the Russians. Vladmir Putin recently signed an agreement with Iran, which our media barely noted. Russia knows we have big problems coming with Iran, so why would they do this? Simple, it’s like picking teammates at recess. Russia takes Iran and we’ll take Israel. I’m not sure Obama knows about playground rituals. He seems uninterested.

I don’t mean to say Obama is a weakling. It could be just me, but Obama reminds me of the movie Braveheart. Sadly, the character he reminds me of isn’t William Wallace; it’s the King of England’s gentle son. I mean flying some drones around and killing a few people doesn’t make you a war hawk. It’s kind of like being a kid with a video game. I mean Obama has that swagger walk thing he does. I guess he has that, but strutting isn’t enough. He needs a propagandist image consultant or something. His pictures of biking with a helmet in mom pants, photo shopped skeet shooting, and too many golf course shots to count don’t instill an image of machismo.

I understand, it is hard to outshine a larger than life persona like Putin. One minute he releases a picture of himself on top of a huge pile of Russian gold, the next one he is wrestling a bear, then he’s horseback riding shirtless, only to be followed up by a shot of Vlad in a tux with a twenty year old hottie on his arm! You would think he’s some kind of James Bond character.

So put all that chest pumping aside. Vlad keeps taking it to the next level. Instead of talking tough this time he actually scrambled fighter jets to war game us. This is where my wife and I go prepper. Our guy doesn’t get it! What would happen if four 200 Kiloton nuclear warheads hit America? Good bye to several million people instantly and slowly many more later. Good bye power grid, good bye to everything we know right now, at least for awhile. Should I be comforted because O is on the job? He handled a really bad storm named Sandy smashingly!

I vote for some saber rattling and chest pumping. We need O to find whatever tough guy he can and let it out. C’mon, put an eye patch on Samuel L. Jackson and send him to Moscow to lay down the law. He’s an actor — he could pull it off. If we don’t act like we got a pair pretty soon, we are going to take a hit right to the chops. It’s never good to take the first shot right to the chin. You might not get back up.

I implore our President; skip the ten day golf vacation with Tiger. Bring in some liberal Hollywood actors to at least teach him how to act tough. That’s all we need. Just act tough. Our military men have the cajones to actually be tough. They can take it and dish it out, but we need our President to buck it up a notch. Otherwise, we should all be prepping.

Image: Portrait of Vladimir Putin; source: kremlin.ru; author: Russian Presidential Press and Information Office; Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license

S.C. Sherman
S.C. Sherman grew up a farm kid in rural Iowa. He graduated from the University of Iowa with a degree in Communications Studies. Steve is a business owner, and recently ran for Iowa State House of Representatives.. S.C. enjoys political commentary and great stories. He has written three fiction novels found at scsherman.com. He currently lives with his wife and four children in North Liberty, Iowa.