by John Hawkins
Guest Columnist for Clash Daily
“I’m not a gun owner and, as I think as is the case for the more than half the people in the country who also aren’t gun owners, that means that for me guns are alien. In the current rhetorical climate people seem not to want to say: I think guns are kind of scary and don’t want to be around them.” — Josh Marshall
“A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.” — Sigmund Freud
Sorry, but your Second Amendment rights no longer apply because liberals like Josh Marshall tinkle on themselves every time they come within fifty feet of a gun. This is really what the debate on gun control in America comes down to in the end: people who lose nothing if guns are banned because they don’t use them demanding that everyone else be disarmed. Meanwhile, trying to reason with gun control advocates is like arguing with a four year old about whether her imaginary friend is real or not. It doesn’t matter how clearly you prove your case; she’ll be pouring her pal tea two minutes after you’ve left the room. Speaking of imaginary…
1) A “gun free zone” won’t keep bad people with guns away: The basic problem with a “gun free zone” is that anyone you can’t trust with a gun will bring it in anyway while it will cause the people you’d want armed in a dangerous situation to leave their weapons behind. If this concept actually worked, we’d just train all of our soldiers in Jiu-jitsu and then we’d declare everywhere we sent them to be a “gun free zone.” Admittedly, Mortal Kombat: Afghanistan sounds like it would be an amazing movie, but someone needs to inform Democrats that the world doesn’t really work this way.
2) Criminals and lunatics don’t obey gun laws: The belief that someone who’s planning to go on a killing spree is going to turn in a gun because it’s made illegal is almost as nuts as going on the killing spree. Yet, the gun grabbers in the Democrat Party operate on the assumption that nut jobs like Adam Lanza or a gangbanger who sells crack for a living is going to get rid of a high-capacity magazine if Congress says he can’t have it. That’s like a prohibitionist who gets upset about alcoholism and deals with the problem by demanding that all the people without drinking problems have to be kept away from booze.
3) We already have somewhere between 200-300 million guns in this country: Adding to the last point, ever heard this old joke?
A drunk loses the keys to his house and is looking for them under a lamppost. A policeman comes over and asks what he’s doing. “I’m looking for my keys” he says. “I lost them over there”.
The policeman looks puzzled. “Then why are you looking for them all the way over here?”
“Because the light is so much better”.
If there were no already existing guns in America, gun control could conceivably help keep weaponry out of the hands of criminals and mass murderers. However, in a nation that’s already armed to the teeth, the next Adam Lanza, Jared Loughner, Tookie Williams or Mumia Abu-Jamal has already got his gun and new laws will only disarm law abiding Americans.
4) Gun owners aren’t required to explain a “need” for our Second Amendment rights: Why do gun owners “need” their guns? The same reason that Rosa Parks “needed” her seat at the front of the bus. In other words, it’s our constitutional right; so kiss off! If you need more of an explanation than that, why does California “need” to have its votes counted in the next presidential election? Why do we “need” so many liberal newspapers? Why not close a few? Why do movie stars “need” to make so much money for their films? Why don’t we confiscate it? What was it that Ann Coulter said?
“Free people are not in the habit of providing reasons why they ‘need’ something simply because the government wants to ban it. That’s true of anything — but especially something the government is constitutionally prohibited from banning, like guns.”
5) You’re not fooling us: Liberals like to think they’re smarter than everyone else, but they’re as transparent as glass to anyone who’s paying attention. That’s why gun sales have blown up like a can of shaving cream in a microwave. If Barack Obama, Diane Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden and the rest of the Democrat gun grabbers in Congress could get away with it, they would ban and confiscate every gun in America tomorrow — and people know it. Anything short of, “Nobody is allowed to own a firearm except the government,” is unacceptable to them and that’s why they always seem so ghoulishly pleased after tragedies like the Gabrielle Giffords shooting or the Newtown massacre. Everybody else is thinking of the victims, while they’re twirling their mustaches Snidely-Whiplash-style and repeating, “Never let a serious crisis go to waste,” to each other.