After this wave of scandals, the Obama administration has vowed to, “crack down on low level abuses of power”, vowing, “never again shall the people of this great nation fear from the tyranny of minimum wage employees and interns”.
While it is yet unclear, there has also been much speculation from the Whitehouse as to the participation of ghosts in the IRS, AP, and Benghazi scandals. Jay Carney assured the American public by telling reporters that they would have more information on the participation of ghosts and other un-patriotic ghouls, “by the end of the week”.
UPDATE: All known members of the secret society of low level workers have been taken out by unmanned air drone at roughly three am last night. From a lavish Beyonce gala celebrating the event, President Obama told reporters that, “America has nothing left to fear”. That his administration has, “taken care of the problem”, and that, “all you obnoxious media types can finally stop looking into it”.
The preceding piece is satire.
Patrick is a political activist based out of Boulder Colorado. He is currently employed by several of Colorado’s preeminent think tanks and has worked in the liberty movement since he was fourteen. An aspiring writer, Patrick currently writes for Girls Just Want To Have Guns and Complete Colorado Page Two
