One thing that I really cannot stand in churches is this obsession, which treads on idol worship, with marriage. Twenty-something’s, and even late teenagers, think that their life goal is marriage and that they will be completely satisfied only when they get there.
Even though I believe marriage is an amazing and beautiful institution, made for one man and one woman, to show the bond and relationship of Christ and his church, I think that girls have become too infatuated with the idea of marriage without knowing their identity in Christ first.
At one point in my life, I was that girl. I was so focused on getting married to the boyfriend I had at the time that I had no sense of my personal identity and hadn’t thought about my purpose outside of being a good wife and bearing children.
I really find something so icky about girls having this kind of cookie-cutter goal for their married lives and spending their single years obsessing over their dream wedding, dream husband, bouncing from relationship to relationship (disguised as “courting”) and giving away so much of their hearts, and sadly so many times, their sexual purity.
Ladies, we MUST have a life purpose bigger than marriage. We MUST use our single years for the best to figure out who we are, what direction we are headed, and what our life calling is. It is only when we know these things that we will be able to discern who our life partner will be that will lead us in that same direction to accomplish and conquer amazing feats for Christ and His Kingdom.
So to help, I’ve listed some things that I have learned in my singleness that I hope can be of use for all the single ladies:
1. Get right with God.
This is the first thing above anything else. Repentance is a complete turning around from sin – a 180 degree turn. You need to confess your sins to God, and see them as he sees them. Knowing that Christ suffered an excruciating death on the cross for the sin that you hold onto will quicken your heart to despise it and bring it to the light.
Many times, we have sin buried in our lives that we keep ignoring, hoping to just ‘feel’ forgiven for it. Confess it and see the restoration process begin. You will see God use what was meant for evil, to be used for good. Coming to terms with your past and your sin is a powerful tool against the enemy to get you to a place where you experience God’s redemption in a supernatural way.
One of my favorite verses is found in 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
2. Find your passion.
Finding what you are passionate about sometimes feels like the most impossible thing to do, which is why people take the easy way out and walk through life aimlessly. This is so important to seek out early on because it will shape every decision that you make, the friends you choose, and even the jobs you take.
There are two things that my Pastor, Doug Giles, once preached that really struck a chord with me about how to find your life calling: 1. “What do you hate?” and 2. “What could you do for the rest of your life and not care if you get don’t get paid for it?”
Knowing what you hate will prompt you to take action and want to change it right away. There is such a thing as holy and righteous anger, and it has caused people to do amazing things for God’s Kingdom that leave a huge mark on Satan’s backside. Jesus’ anger for what people were doing to God’s house caused him to take a whip and clear it up. See what unrighteous thing in this culture makes you want to take a whip and clear the punks, and then do it.
3. Serve, serve, serve.
Serving is something that I cannot stress enough. Just as Jesus Christ came not to be served, but to serve, we must also seek to do the same thing. Serving others is something that will transform you as a person. It truly opens your eyes to see that there are other people besides yourself that have needs.