Gearing Up for Your Christmas Shopping? Here’s a Dangerous and Politically Incorrect List to Help

Black Friday is the unofficial beginning of the mad rush to buy Christmas gifts.

But you’re not quite like the maddening crowd, are you?  Of course not.  So where does someone like you turn for gift ideas when you’re stumped?

Here’s the self-described “Terrible Mother’s Holiday Guide To Dangerous Gifts” to inspire you.

It’s a helpful list.  It’s got many of the must-haves for your budding patriot, including  Good tools (a sturdy knife); Good reading (including “Backyard Ballistics”, “Garden and Gun” and Jules Verne); Crossbows, Airsoft, and (for the Older “kids”) a home distillery kit.

Gerber’s paraframe Tanto knife — for when you don’t need a full utility knife with bottle opener and nail file. For $13 you can purchase the Tanto mini. Bonus, may help develop first aid skills and improve tourniquet tying techniques.

Backyard Ballistics — written by engineer, William Gurstelle, chapters include ‘Back Porch Rocketry’ and ‘Greek Fire and the Catapult.’ Guaranteed to test the response time of your local fire department.

Magazine subscriptions to Backerpacker and Popular Mechanics. I know for a fact, really despicable moms read Garden and Gun magazine. Only nice moms read Martha Stewart or Southern Home.

Books, glorious books — Anything by Jules Verne, Calvin & Hobbes, or from this list. Warning, may ignite their imaginations.

Eagles Nest Outfitters single hammock — for when your kids want to relive the nursery rhyme, Rock-a-bye Baby. Bonus, choking hazard and limb entanglement.

Fun stocking stuffers — duct tape, UV Buffs, pocket compasses, wool hiking socks with liners, storm proof match kits, and carabiners with compasses, freeze dried food or jerky, fishing lures, live bait, and animal pelt hats.

Via Patheos.com

Enjoy!

(h/t to regular reader “Deb” for the tip)