MAN STUFF: How to be a Real, Gun Using, Outdoor Kind of Man
Own a truck.
Always have a knife.
Carry a knife. Always. The only time you should not have a knife is when you are naked, in a bed or when you’re swimming. (Real men swim, they don’t play in the water. And, there is only one kind of knife and that’s a sharp one. A dull knife is nothing but a flat piece of metal with a handle.)
Get a hat; a real hat, you gotta have a hat. Not a baseball cap. You don’t have to wear it all the time but when you are wearing it, take it off when you hear the National Anthem, when you are eating and when you go inside and sit down.
If you are going to carry a handgun, carry it concealed. There are only a few social settings where open carry is proper and they are cookouts and barbecues, campfires and hangings. (We don’t have many hangings these days.) Never open carry in nylon, plastic or Kydex; it’s like wearing tennis shoes to a funeral. And never, ever open carry a Glock unless you are a cop. Nobody wants to see that ugly thing.
Teach at least one kid to shoot and hunt – and to do it well, before you die.
Don’t show off your tattoos unless you are asked.
Stop using your smart phone to check the time. Get a watch for god’s sake.
Act like you have been there before no matter if it’s Paris or a hurricane. This always applies unless it’s your first time at Gunsite. If it is, keep your mouth shut; you’ll learn more that way.
If you have hair on your head or a beard or mustache, keep it trimmed or groomed. Avoid the Unabomber look.
Own at least one custom rifle.
Always buy the first round; nobody remembers who bought the second round or the last one.
If you are going to engage in a ballistics discussion, know something about ballistics.
When discussing guns, cartridges, bullets and ballistics, never say, “all things being equal” because they never are and never will be.
Never ask someone if they have ever killed someone, never ask anyone if they ever slept with someone and never, ever brag or talk about doing either.
