Guys love cars. That’s what makes the following cars so shameful – they have betrayed the basic compact between man and his car. And that is that a man will take care of his car, love it, feed it, maybe even give it a nice buffing every once in a while, and it return the car will do its best not to make him look like a huge dork.
1971-76 Ford Pinto
It’s not so much that the Pinto looks lame – although, let’s face it, it’s not exactly rolling with its badass brother, the Mustang, in the looks department – it’s that, well, there’s a good chance you will blow up and die the first time you’re rear-ended, which, believe it or not, isn’t as sexy as it sounds.
This little dude has been described as an “upside down fishbowl.” Stay back, ladies! The thing about this car, though, is that it actually looks like a nerd. I don’t mean that it looks like a car driven by a nerd, I mean it actually looks like a nerd.
My god, just look at this thing! Built in 1899, the Horsey Horseless was the automakers’ way of helping people psychologically adapt to the concept of the horseless carriage. That makes sense because if there’s one thing that brings people comfort it’s seeing a stuffed, mounted horse’s head on the front of a car.
Yes! You finally got yourself a BMW! Dad will be so proud. Wait, it’s a BMW Isetta? No! Dad just reached for the scotch. Aside from its pathetic 12 horsepower and 1 door, here’s all you need to know about the Isetta – when you run a Google Image Search on the car, the very first thing returned as a related search is “Steve Urkel.” Dad just disowned you.
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