Open Letter: To the Fraternal Order of the Perpetually Offended

Written by Chuck Gruenwald on March 22, 2014

To all of the former sponsors of the Boston and New York Saint Patrick’s Day Parades, such as Guinness and Samuel Adams, as well as all of the politicians who have so bravely abstained from participating as well, I would like to congratulate all of you for taking such a bold stance against those ruthless, violent and inflexible parade organizers who chose to not allow individuals with any political or sexual orientation agendas – hetero or homosexual – to hijack their hate-filled parades.

I do realize that you could have taken the easy way out by protesting the imprisonment, torture, and execution of homosexuals in such places as Russia, Iran and China, but all of you have recognized the true threat that faces these oppressed people: the threat of losing the “right” to shamelessly seek attention at every social, religious, political and private function. It takes a pair to stand up to Christianity, a mob that prides itself on forgiveness – although their definition of “forgiveness” does not sync with yours; your “forgiveness” is more like “submission from the other side.”

You have the right to boycott whatever you please. However, I have the right to boycott your products. Of course, you could try to negate my ability to protest your decision in this manner by trying to play the ethanol card, which is the ability to lobby for laws and regulations that force me to buy your now-unwanted goods.

The militant homosexual chapter of the Fraternal Order of the Perpetually Offended has decided that its collective rights have been violated by organizers of the Saint Patrick’s Day Parades who do not want their parades turned into political rallies, such as how the funerals for Paul Wellstone and Rosa Parks had been shamelessly hijacked for self-serving political purposes.

Have any of you been to a homosexual pride parade? If so, did you find any redeeming family values with such spectacles as participants wearing kilts – and nothing underneath, who performed cartwheels? Why should such questionable displays of self-degradation be forced upon people who want no part of them?

Boycotting a private organization in an attempt to force it to change its policies, is no different than boycotting Guinness in a selfish attempt to force a reformulation of its products, so that they taste more like the beer-flavored water that is sold by the big American breweries.

One of the saddest parts of this story is how politicians who adopt special interest causes in order to shamelessly pander for votes, have taken what should have been a place of honor – elected office — and turned it into a soapbox where telling blatant lies has become the rule, not the exception.

Many politicians have found success in dividing Americans into special interest groups, such as homosexuals, union leaders, minorities, the dead, etc., pitting these groups against each other, yet somehow convincing them to vote for the same candidates, and winning re-election over and over. Despite the countless times these candidates win re-election, the problems and enemies that they campaign against, somehow persist.

The people who have rallied against these parades have been far from honest about homosexuals being banned; the organizers simply asked that no political or social cause be promoted at events that are intended to unite people. Unfortunately, the truth has once again attempted to block a good story.

Be proud, Friends of the Fraternal Order of the Perpetually Offended and Seekers of Publicity, you have helped usher in the Age of Shamelessness.

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Born in Chicago and raised in northwest suburban Cook County, Chuck Gruenwald developed an unfavorable opinion of machine politics quite early in life. In addition to cars, electronics, law enforcement, and politics, Chuck enjoys writing, and is also a horse racing fan. He has recently written op-eds for