Barack, Bill and a Boys Night Out!

Written by S.C. Sherman on April 19, 2014

President Bill Clinton rolls his eyes as he looks at his smart phone.

BC: Hello, Barack is that you?

BO: Yeah, sorry did I wake you up?

BC: No way man, we got a party going on down here!

BO: Where are you? Are you in Columbia again?

BC: I better not say. Have you seen Hillary?

BO: No, I think she hates me.

BC: That makes two of us.

BO: Well, you sound busy, I better go?

BC: I am kinda busy with white sand, hot sun all day, and hot ladies all night! If you know what I mean…why are you whispering? I can hardly hear you…speak up.

BO: I’m in the oval office…under the desk.

BC: I’ve been there few times, boom! Oh yeah.

BO: I don’t want her find me. I’m so tired. This isn’t as fun as I thought it’d be. I don’t think I can make it till the end of the term. That Putin…he’s going to take the Ukraine, probably more. All of Europe, I guess. I transmitted that I didn’t think he should do it. He promised me he wouldn’t. He’s a liar. And some dumb@$$ cowboy wants to have High Noon out in the Nevada desert thanks to that jack-wagon Harry, Nancy is stalking me everywhere I turn with those googly eyes, Obamacare is falling apart, the IRS targeting is getting worse, don’t even mention Benghazi or Fast and Furious. FLOTUS won’t let me have anything…and I mean anything. No cheeseburgers, no cigarettes! I can’t take it anymore. If I send her on anymore vacations, the damn Republicans will have a fit. What should I do?

BC: Ha, ha, ha, you’re calling me now, aren’t you!

BO: It’s not funny. My hair is turning gray!

BC: Yeah it is. You whiner! I got fricking impeached, try that, you puke! Old Slobodan didn’t see that coming though did he?

BO: Slobo-what are you talking about? I didn’t know who else to call…(sniffling).

BC: Oh, stop it. Get a hold of yourself. Do you even have an intern?

BO: Yeah, why?

BC: Well, get on the phone, man. Tell her you got some late night dictation to do, and it can’t wait till morning. It’s a national emergency. You’ll feel right as rain by morning.

BO: My intern is a guy!

BC: Hey, whatever floats your boat, we are democrats! Ha, ha, ha! Glad I could help. Hey gotta run. I need give to Maria a lesson in the Bill of rights! Heeeeya!

BO: I wish I was there.

BC: C’mon man, only a couple more years. You can ride it out. We’ll put Hillary in there next and you and me will be sailing. We’ll set up a man cave in the west wing like nobodies business! First dudes…are you kidding me? All the fun, none of the headache.

BO: I don’t think I can make it. @#$!* Iran is gonna nuke somebody, and we all know who. Carter keeps sending me letters of advice.

BC: Carter? Is he alive? What do you mean letters?

BO: Paper! Paper letters! He’s afraid of the NSA.

BC: Well, nobody remembers Carter. I’d burn those letters right now. Don’t want those turning up on some web site. Iran…yeah, well that’s your own fault. They’re always angry and I told you not to mess with Netanyahu, he’ll kick you’re a$$ and not wrinkle his suit. I told you those A-rabs don’t want to be your friend. You keep talking trash about oil being bad for the world. What do you expect? You need a break. Meet me in Chicago tomorrow night at ten at The Blues on Halsted.

BO: I thought you were on a beach somewhere?

BC: Tonight I am. Tomorrow I’m in Chi-town for my main man Barack!

BO: Oh, that sounds good. I haven’t been to Chicago for awhile. What is The Blues on Halsted?

BC: S.O.B. are you freaking kidding me? You don’t know The Blues on Halsted?

BO: No.

BC: Ppffffff! I am the first black President. I knew it. I said it once and I’ll say it again. Google it. The Service guys can get you there. Tell FLOTUS you have to meet with me about a business deal or something.

BO: She won’t believe that.

BC: Tell her you want to go to church and visit Jeremiah or something. I don’t care.

BO: Do they have cheeseburgers?

BC: Yeah, and booze, and packs and packs of cigarettes and the blues like you’ve never heard…real blues.

BO: Sounds awesome…

BC: You need to unwind. We’ll be just like two brothas out for a night on the town.

BO: Okay, I’m doing it. I’ll see you there tomorrow night at 10.

BC: Right on, brotha from another motha, yeah, and if you see Hillary, don’t mention that I was in Chicago or really anything. She thinks I’m in Arkansas.

BO: Crap.

BC: What?

BO: I can hear Michelle calling my name, she’s looking for me.

BC: So what? You’re hiding under a desk. What’s wrong with that? You’re by yourself aren’t you? No cigars, no intern dresses, no definition of the word “is”.

BO: She’s scary.

BC: No kidding. You’re on your own with that, you married her. See you tomorrow night in Chicago. It’s a Boys Night Out!

Image: Courtesy of:

Author, S.C. Sherman’s latest novel titled Mercy Shot is available for purchase at and Kindle version is available on Contact Steve via email Also, go LIKE to stay up to date on all things Mercy Shot.

Doug ‘The Big Dawg’ Giles’ reviews Mercy Shot:“Mercy Shot is a riveting, modern tale of the twisted and insidious war that’s being waged against our Second Amendment rights. S.C. Sherman does a great job of forecasting in this timely tome of how things could possibly go down. My advice is to a.)Read this book and b.) Buy a stack of guns and ammo, pretty damn quick. Molon Labe.”–Doug Giles, CEO of

S.C. Sherman
S.C. Sherman grew up a farm kid in rural Iowa. He graduated from the University of Iowa with a degree in Communications Studies. Steve is a business owner, and recently ran for Iowa State House of Representatives.. S.C. enjoys political commentary and great stories. He has written three fiction novels found at He currently lives with his wife and four children in North Liberty, Iowa.