While I am a contributing writer here at Clash Daily, I am also a loyal reader. I follow many of the writers here and I am constantly amazed and humbled by the level of talent that Doug has been able to assemble here. It is truly a blessing and a privilege to write for Doug and alongside such a great bunch of conservatives. Earlier this week while procrastinating and avoiding homework I came across an article that I found very interesting.
Hope Rodriguez wrote a fantastic article that ran on Clash as well as her own website. The article was titled “Lonely Girl: Six Reasons Why You Haven’t Gotten the Man You Want.” I found it so interesting because it listed all the traits women should have and for some reason don’t anymore. The more I thought about it throughout the week I realized that everywhere in our society these traits are portrayed as a negative and unattractive. This led me to the next inevitable thought, “Why is this happening?” Unfortunately, I have to admit that men have a lot to do with this. Despite what the modern feminist movement will tell you or try to convince you of, men are still the “hunting” gender. We are still the ones who are supposed to be seeking our soul mates. This doesn’t mean young women are supposed to stand around waiting, but in an attempt to entice us they have resorted to what our society has told them we want.
I, like every other man, am a flawed human being I have caught myself giving undue attention to the wrong kind of woman. As a single guy, I thought I might have some unique perspective on this. I am sure single guys and girls like me have heard all the advice from their married friends but somehow it just seems easier to live the advice once you are married. So here is what I came up with for myself and maybe it will help some of you guys out.
Ignore the Easy Ones
Guys one of the hardest things to learn in life is the old saying, “Easy come, easy go.” Nothing in this life is worth having if you came by it easy. You don’t appreciate it as much and there is no sense of pride and accomplishment. Some of you may know that I recently changed my major to software engineering for much the same reason. I wanted to challenge myself. When it comes to dating I think collectively as men we are choosing T.V. dinners because we don’t feel like waiting on Thanksgiving dinner to be ready. We are lazy.
So when we are out in our daily lives and we have a woman throwing herself at us, don’t lie to yourself fellas. We all have that one girl, and we normally jump at it. Here’s the deal: I am not here to give a pre-marital sex talk – but we are wasting our time. What I have realized is that while I am busy eating my T.V. dinner, someone else waited and is enjoying my Thanksgiving dinner. We are so tied up with these easy girls that we totally miss the ones we should be living and dying to get. As guys, we are willing to fight and lose blood, sweat and tears for most things. When did a soul mate stop being on that list? If you want a “ten”, be prepared to ignore the “seven” when you are searching.
Stop Letting the World Tell You What You Need
Guys, stop being shallow. None of us are Brad Pitt so why are we walking around looking for cutouts of Angelina Jolie? You will hear me use terms like “ten” or “five” when I am referring to the type of women we need to be attracting and searching for. This is often a moniker for a woman’s physical desirability but I am using it as an overall matrix. As men we are very visual, so physical attraction is important, but it isn’t at the top of my list. I want a woman I think is beautiful and will still make me stop what I am doing to look at her in twenty years, but I also want a woman who is my intellectual equal.
If we truly want that “ten” that we talk about, it’s going to be more than looks gents! One thing I have learned is that beauty gets boring if you can’t talk to her about anything. So let’s be the men we think we are and tell society, ”Thanks but no thanks. I know what I am looking for.” When I am looking for a wife I need her to be a woman who is ready for it to be us against the world. I can’t have that if it’s all beauty and no brains.
Get Yourself in Order
Guys if we are looking for that girl who is beautiful and smart, I would imagine they are looking for the same thing. Dude, put down the PS4/XBOX One and hit the gym. When you are done with that, DVR the next few episodes of your shows and read a book. Educate yourself. If you think a woman’s mind turns us on, you have no idea. Women are more attracted to our minds than anything else, or rather, the women we are looking for are. If you are hitting the gym and you are smart, you have a leg up on 90% of the guys walking around. Girls are looking for that annoying guy from Jersey Shore but women are looking for the guy who is smart, grounded in his faith, a great potential father and not afraid of work. We need to be using the right bait guys — if you are using lousy bait that’s what you are going to catch.
Show Some Respect
There is tremendous pressure on us to be Alpha Males. In one way this isn’t a bad thing. I think there are too many “Betas” running around. Don’t get me started on man bags and metrosexuals. But the other side of the debate the definition of an Alpha Male has changed. Being an Alpha Male doesn’t mean you make an ass of yourself in public drooling over the woman in the mall or hit on anything walking around because you are just a stud like that. In my opinion, being an Alpha Male is being a man who can protect what is his, protect his wife and kids, teach his kids through example and be able to show his emotions.
I don’t know when we decided that tough guys don’t have emotions. I am a tough guy, I would challenge just about anyone to best me on the range, the lake, the hunting grounds or the boxing ring. But I can also say that I am looking to fall in love. I am not ashamed in the least to say that I am OK with telling the future MRS that I am luckiest guy in the world every day. In short guys, respect women. You are going to expect nothing less from that twenty year old guy taking out your daughter.
So, guys, there you go. From here on in this is what I am looking for. I am done wasting my time with a strong “seven”. She may be hot but she isn’t going to have my back in the long run and it is a waste of my time, which is getting more and more valuable all the time. One of my favorite movies is Wedding Crashers. There is a line in one scene that says, “True love is your soul’s recognition of it’s counterpoint in another.” That is what I am spending time on now. I don’t want a trophy that I didn’t have to earn; when I find my “ten”, it better be something I have to work for and struggle to get. That way I know we will appreciate each other for a life time.
Thanks to Hope for the great article and the inspiration. Keep writing, you have some great stuff to say.