7 Pieces of Life Advice That Actually Worked

Published on August 4, 2014

Here is some solid life advice that actually works. Be careful, this is not a make-you-feel-good check off list. It will challenge you to make some changes in your life. Check it out from Lisa Hickey at The Good Men Project

1) Start somewhere, start anywhere.

I used to think you always had to start at the beginning. The logical place to start, right? …

There is no project or task that is too overwhelming if there are specific actions you know you can take. Start with those. Even if it’s not the beginning.

2) It’s OK to do things twice. In fact, plan on it.

Just plan to do everything twice, as if it’s part of the process. You’ll never again say “I don’t know why everything takes twice as long as I think it should.” But if by chance you do get it right the first time—bingo! You’ve won the time lottery for the day.

3) Seek to connect, not to impress.

“Seek to connect” is good advice whether you are dating, job hunting, out with friends, spending time with your children. It doesn’t mean that it has to be all about them, either. That isn’t connection. It’s about the back and forth, the mutual understanding, the curiosity about what is happening with the other person.

4) Don’t be the person looking for a job. Be the person doing something interesting. 

Do you enjoy talking to someone who is trying desperately to convince you how great they are? Neither do potential employers. The best way to get a job is to get a referral from someone who has no vested interest in you getting the job, but has simply seen you doing amazing things. If you are out in public, doing interesting things, people will say “wow, I wish I could do things like that”. And they will want to work with you.

5) Anxiety is when the voices in your head are worried about the future. Depression is when the voices inside your heard are worried about the past. Peace of mind is when those two voices stop talking to each other. 

I used to think peace of mind was boring. But peace of mind doesn’t mean emptiness of mind–it means lack of conflict. It just means you get rid of the squabbling and bickering of the voices that create strife.

6) If you want self-esteem, go out and do something esteemable.

If you are trying to convince yourself that you are better than you are, your real self will see right through you. Instead—take action. Go out and do something esteemable.

7) This is water.

Perhaps you’ve read David Foster Wallace’s graduation speech to Kenyon College. It’s worth reading the whole thing, and it’s worth watching this video, which excerpts part of it. But here is the crux of it.

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, boys, how’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is water?”

When we’re immersed in the day to day, when we are always trying to achieve things like “happiness” or “success” or “freedom from boredom” – those things will always remain elusive. Life doesn’t actually “happen”, despite what the bumpersticker is. Life is.

Read the full article: Good Men Project

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