Dear Mormon Chicks: Why Don’t You Stop Boycotting Carl’s Jr.’s And Boycott Islam?

Written by Doug Giles on September 7, 2014

Last week on we ran a story about Mormon twin sisters who founded “Beauty Redefined”, who are calling on folks to boycott Carl’s Jr.’s hamburger joint because they run adverts with hot models. According to the religious twins, these ads, “objectify women”; and I guess, by that inference, girls everywhere, because of the ads, will start to feel badly about themselves, adopt some eating disorder and/or get ocean-buoy-sized breast implants in order to look like Kate Upton. Or something to that effect.

Now, before I go on, here’s an FYI for forlorn ladies wanting to look like Kate after watching a Carl’s Jr.’s commercial: try as you might you probably will never look like Miss Upton because that bombshell hit the genetic lotto.  Don’t even try.  It’ll cost too much money and you’ll end up looking like Mickey Rourke with butt implants and bogus hooters.

Look sisters … Carl’s is known for having beautiful models’ molesting their burgers. It’s their shtick and they’re upfront about it stating, “We believe in putting hot models in our commercials, because ugly ones don’t sell burgers.”

Truth be told, it’s pretty much everybody and their dogs’ shtick who are trying to hawk anything to anyone nowadays.  Please note that most of the models that sell stuff to us via TV, print or Internet don’t look like an unshorn and distended Rosie O’Donnell.  Lesbian cruises don’t even use models that look like Rosie for their marketing purposes because they know that brain fart would spawn crap results.

Earth to Matilda: Ads are supposed to make us feel bad about ourselves.  They’re supposed to make us feel fat, ugly, stupid, lazy, driving the wrong car, using the wrong computer, having gross/frizzy hair, drinking the wrong vodka and/or using the incorrect herpes medicine.  For God’s sake relax… its called Marketing 101, it’s been around since the Garden of Eden.

If you want to throw stones then toss some at one of your own like Marie Osmond.  She’s using her newfound sexy, fifty-pound, weight dump to pimp the snot out of Nutri-System.  Marie … you never looked better.

Speaking of Mormons, if you truly want to jackhammer a group of abusers that’re destroying a women’s worth, then why don’t you turn your #hashtag temper against the “Fundamentalist Church Of The Latter Day Saints“? That cult systematically enslaves and abuses teenage chicks on a 24/7/365 basis. Listen, if you want to get pissy then get pissy at them because they’re straight up gross on ‘roids.

BTW, you do know what fundamental stands for don’t you? It stands for no fun, mostly dumb and quite mental.

Honestly, I hate to pick on you twins because you seem like decent dames that don’t buy into this stercore tauri -laden culture.  However, girls … of all the things that are wrong with this planet you two decide to protest a fast food chain? What are you, gay? Good Lawd, sistas … you’re out in leftfield.  On a cosmic scale of things, what Carl’s, in your opinion, is doing to women, is incredibly inconsequential compared to the insanely abusive stain on the planet known as Islam.

If you’d like to launch into some #hasthtag-rage-boycott-campaign against a gaggle of jacked up and violent bastards that genuinely abuse women, then why don’t you fly the social media middle finger to Islam?  They abuse women more than any other group on the planet, bar none.  They make Carl’s Jr.’s look like NOW radicals.  If you don’t believe me, just Google: female circumcision, honor killings, child brides, Sharia Law, wife beatings, 1400 sexual molestations of children in Rotherham, UK, the beheading of women and children by ISIS, Boko Haram. And tell me what religion has spawned these atrocities.  Why don’t you #hashtag them?

Personally, I thank God we live in a country where gorgeous women are celebrated, allowed to wear bikinis on TV while they wash an old Camaro with one hand and they inhale a hamburger  (if they chose to do so) with the other hand and they don’t have to hide every square inch of their body except a tiny slit for their eyes because some bass-akward-goat-lover from Suckistan believes that slavish garb pleases his make-believe sky-god and his pedophile prophet.

If you and other ladies really care about the “plight of women”, then why don’t you #hashtag attack Islam and their demonic Sharia Law which treats women like cow crap from the cradle to the grave?  Use your youth and zeal to attack a true enemy of women because everywhere the Islamic weed is allowed to take root women have faced brutalities.




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