DEAR SANTA: Grown Up Christmas List, Conservative Style

Written by Suzanne Olden on December 17, 2014

Dear Santa:

I know it’s been awhile since you’ve gotten a letter from our address, the kids being way past the ages of believing in you and such, but I decided that since I do believe (which I will explain in a minute) I needed to send you a list. My belief, which also means I never lied to my kids about “Santa,” is in the spirit of St. Nicholas, who was a real person, and in the tradition he bequeathed to us by his generosity. So St. Nicholas, here’s my grown up list.

1. I’m not going to ask you for peace. The prayers to our Father on that subject are unceasing, and also aren’t going to happen here on this earth, in keeping with Scripture. This is an imperfect world, filled with hatred, vice and is Satan’s hunting ground. What I will ask is that you put a few more constraints on that particular heathen being and his evil minions by filling the hearts of the rest of us with generosity, love and faith this time of year.

2. For the love of all that’s holy, PLEASE NO BUSH OR ROMNEY for the GOP for the 2016 Presidential race. The idiots running the party never seem to learn from their past mistakes, and keep running “centrist” candidates. It didn’t work with Dole, McCain or Romney and it won’t work now. The left knows this and runs far left candidates who delight their liberal base, while we run “hold your nose” and vote for the “electable” candidates who aren’t. Time to take a hard right and stay there. Please kick Reince Prebius and his minions in the behind and fix that. Thanks.

3. Please work on the “no good deed goes unpunished” for all of the good, honest, hard-working police officers out there. While a handful of idiots managed to ruin the reputation of all of them, the rest are now going to work each day with a huge target on their backs, and no one to have said backs. People make choices each day and bad choices mean bad consequences. Police have to deal with the worst of the consequences of others’ bad choices with little appreciation from the public at large. Please rectify that.

4. After Christmas, a new Congress will be sworn in and get to work. Please keep poking them hard enough that they remember who put them there, that we spoke quite loudly about what direction we want the country to head, and that we WILL remove them from their respective offices if they don’t. No amnesty and start deporting, no Obamacare, no new taxes and cut the rest, no Common Core, stop forcing businesses to do business in ways that violate their conscience, and for goodness sake keep your hands off our guns!!

5. Please also remind everyone that no matter what their skin color is, if they judge another based on the color of another’s skin they are a racist. Racism knows no particular color and making decisions about what another person may be thinking, feeling or expecting is racist. Remind them that unless you know their family history, personal experience and such, you have no idea what they think or why they think it. To say otherwise is arrogant, sexist and, yes, racist. Get over yourselves and take some responsibility.

6. Lastly, please send me a few of the staples: perfect body, less stress, less aggravation and above all a bigger paycheck. Ok, I know, this one is the most impossible of them all, but it can’t hurt to ask, right?

Merry Christmas, y’all. Hope St. Nick treats you all well and you find some happiness in the message of the season:

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men

–Luke 2: 7-14



Suzanne Reisig Olden is a Catholic Christian, Conservative, married mother of two, who loves God, family and country in that order. She lives northwest of Baltimore, in Carroll County, Maryland. She graduated from Villa Julie College/Stevenson University with a BS in Paralegal Studies and works as a paralegal for a franchise company, specializing in franchise law and intellectual property. Originally from Baltimore, and after many moves, she came home to raise her son and daughter, now high school and college aged, in her home state. Suzanne also writes for The Firebreathing Conservative website ( and hopes you'll come visit there as well for even more discussion of conservative issues.