10. The men’s bathroom has flowers and pastel colors.
9. The pastor preaches Oprah versus The Word of God.
8. The skinny jean worship pastor sings erotic songs about your relationship with God or other songs that don’t remotely sound like Old Rugged Cross or Onward Christian Soldier.
7. Sermon jokes resemble Married With Children (men are idiots and need women to keep them in line).
6. Love and acceptance of all lifestyles takes priority over truth.
5. Women are worshiped on Mothers Day and men are “encouraged” to get it together on Fathers Day.
4. Men are told to embrace their feminine side.
3. The work of the church is predominately done by women.
2. Pacifism is taught as truth instead of being taught as cowardice.
1. They won’t let you carry a concealed weapon.